Inspection- 2 Shorts: Of Un-Presidential Presidents Days and Water Quite Black

by Ken Carman

That was refreshing. So, once again, this week I drag out the fine editing scalpel and continue razor-ing Inspection down to the succinct. Hopefully that grand effort at prose wouldn’t be more accurately represented by a word-bloodied butcher’s knife.

Inspection- The Annual Presidents Day Massacre
by Ken Carman

If you tend to be skeptical regarding what history books say; somewhere: Hell, Heaven or living out another life of infamy, Guiteau, Czolgosz, Oswald and Booth must be really, really angry. Or if you do believe the official story: maybe laughing their celestial buttinskis off? Most assassins hope to change the prevailing political skew of the time and they do: often making the targets of their ire more popular than even they could have imagined, and their hated policies more set in stone. But whatever infamy they “achieved;” justly so or… not, is far outweighed by how we mindlessly desecrate the names of our presidents.

What is it with irony? Or should I spell it iron-y? Because if we were really paying attention we would notice that it quickly flattens out all those ego induced wrinkles that make too many Americans sound more like they’re at a bloody football game cheering on their own team, rather than being true patriots. Patriotism should never be simple “team sport.” True patriots actually cause permanent creases; not mere wrinkles. They make waves and come in at least two flavors: those who so deeply oppose the path their country has taken that they do what they can to make their opposition obvious without blowing up buildings in Oklahoma, for instance… or risk their lives protecting that nation. Sometimes those two can be one in the same; sometimes not.

But one thing being patriots shouldn’t be is making a damn fool of ourselves and our forefathers. Of course “fool,” as with all words, is often a matter of personal definition.

I don’t know about you, but a recent Guitar Center ad I saw probably qualifies as at least foolish: George Washington wearing sunglasses with two turntables in front of him; hand on the vinyl ready to rap out some version of, “My Girlfriend a a Big, Fat…”

I deliberately turned that song title into PG just in case the kiddies are reading.

On a day we should be seriously discussing and examining where they have taken us, and where we should be going; honoring them for whatever contributions they may have had and mentioning whatever damage they may have intentionally or unintentionally done… what do we spend a day meant to honor our forefathers doing? Scouting out sales, boozing it up, or lounging at the mind extinction tube: draining the contents of our cortex with mindless pap. Sometimes we do all three in reverse order. Meanwhile the images of previous presidents get turned into jokes; selling couches, electronics and, I would assume; somewhere, American flag imprinted condoms.

Oops, there go the little kiddies. Sorry!

I would never argue that some of these elected and unelected icons to morons haven’t spent a lot of time bathing in essence of pig droppings. But…

Should we help them?

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Inspection is a column that has been written by Ken Carman for over 30 years. Inspection is dedicated to looking at odd angles, under all the rocks and into the unseen cracks and crevasses that constitute the issues and philosophical constructs of our day: places few think, or even dare, to venture.

Copyright 2009
Ken Carman and Cartenual Productions
All Rights Reserved

Inspection– Blackwater by Any Other Name
by Ken Carman

If you’ve ever toured in a bus, lived in an RV or trailer, like I have, you wonder why “Blackwater” chose something synonymous with draining the holding tank for essence of toilet.

Of course it’s accurate, but that’s not the point.

Want know what they call themselves now? “Xe.” Pronounced like the letter “Z.” Perhaps with the hope the public will ignore further bad news and go “zzzzzzzzzz…” when they hear the new non-name name? I never knew “the artist formerly called Prince” had started a trend. Don’t know his political skew, but hopefully he feels a little guilt. Hate to feel responsible for a trend that led to helping Blackwater cover its blood trenched tracks.

Business as usual + name change = less attention when we slaughter people for fun and profit?

That’s the image Blackwater has; and they apparently could care less about actually going to the public and either apologizing or defending themselves. The arrogance is incredible, but not unexpected.

The practice of rebranding isn’t all that infrequent in the political world. It’s kind of what one would expect once a supposed CEO president took the reins of the countries stagecoach and “ye ha’d” the horses over the cliff. Full impact hasn’t happened yet, but it has been amusing to hear the Rovian tour guide comment as we warn him of the approaching rocks…

“That’s not a ‘rock,’ either… it’s ‘enhanced interrogation.'”

There’s an urban myth floating around about some guy trying to steal gas from a motorhome by sucking from the black water tank. They find him in the morning passed out after having upchucked several of his past meals. It’s the perfect metaphor for what has been done to America by companies like Blackwater, Halliburton/KBR and the Bush Crime Family, as many bloggers refer to many generations and members of America’s most infamous clan. (Or should I have typed “Klan,” as in raiding the economy and burning it down?)

One of the oddest methods of “rebranding” was to hire a male prostitute as a fake reporter and attempt to lead reporters into asking questions that favored the Bush administration. It’s as if, in an ad, Tony the Tiger was porking Captain Crunch while both claimed the addition of cianide to sweetened cereal was adding “nutrition.”

Today we find that Lady Liberty has been kidnapped by a Corporatocracy that more than mimics Fascism and forced to drink from the Black Water pipe. What we see as we awake from our vomit induced slumber is bits and pieces of regurgitated economy, policies that encourage more terrorism: all swimming in a bile called world opinion.

I recently read a story that in a released statement that the Obama administration has praised the results of the torturing of, and the holding of, a terrorist suspect because he admitted to looking at a joke web site about how to build an H-bomb; including the use of a hand air pump and a bucket of liquid uranium swung around and around.

I hope this rebranding of a questionable act isn’t a sign of the future swill American must continue to drink. Because “Black Water” by any other name is still ____ water.

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Inspection is a column that has been written by Ken Carman for over 30 years. Inspection is dedicated to looking at odd angles, under all the rocks and into the unseen cracks and crevasses that constitute the issues and philosophical constructs of our day: places few think, or even dare, to venture.

Copyright 2009
Ken Carman and Cartenual Productions
All Rights Reserved