Bush’s Presidential Library to Open

George W. Bush’s Presidential Library, slated to open April 1, 2009, will be a storefront in the Oil Country strip mall in Dallas, Texas, located between a payday lender and an Army recruiting office and across the street from the Piggly-Wiggly. The only reading matter on the shelves, aside from an autographed copy of ‘My Pet Goat,’ will be Junior’s collection of Christmas and birthday cards from Ken Lay, Jack Abramoff, Karl Rove, Tom DeLay and other GOP luminaries, with a ‘Win the War on Terror’ video game and a ‘Watch This Drive’ putting green in the back. Visitors will be required to remove their shoes before entering and it will be open from 10 to 4 daily. Admission fee will be your common sense or a hundred shares of Halliburton stock — unless you’re a friend of the family, a Blackwater mercenary, or a member of the Carlyle Group. Then admission is free.