The News Pauper: Culled from the Chicago Rants and Raves Craigslist Page

By W.B. Dunne

I dont know who these guys are, but they are discussing things!

(Lightly edited for readability.)

Re: Good News survey
Date: 2010-03-14, 10:39PM

Thanks for the first semi-civil response [to] Good News! I see I am gaining ground with you. I am more than happy to engage in this sort of positive exchange, and we may see me receive my ambassadorship yet!

1. Do you believe in ‘spread the wealth’?

I believe in widespread generosity and the existence of a social safety net for those unable to contribute. I certainly agree with the enforcement of the tax code that requires fair and equitable contributions by all citizenry, especially corporations, to provide for the needed infrastructure and public projects. There needs to be a solution to the reality that allows 2/3’s of US companies paying zero tax via loopholes. I believe in the taxes collected being used to lift the condition of the citizenry through education, to provide for defense, law enforcement, and healthcare. I certainly believe that the pre-Eisenhower tax brackets are fair and should be re-imposed. (Keep in mind that this is more money than you and I will ever make.) Yes, I believe in the positive definition of spread the wealth. In return I ask, do [you] believe in unmitigated greed?

2. Do you think Democracy is an evil form of government?

No, as long as it IS a democracy and the vote can be monitored to insure fairness in the outcomes. When it is not, it leads to disaster. (See Karl Rove.)

3. Do you think all Corporations are evil?

I do not believe they are the same as human beings as the Supreme Court does, but I do believe that there is something inherently evil in the way some corporations have been allowed to plunder our economy to bolster their shares. I believe that there are extremely unfair advantages being given to certain corporate agendas. (See Blackwater, Enron, Well Point, as well as Halliburton and Lehman Bros. and Goldman Sachs.) I think it is evil for those corporations that took the bailout money should be paying pre-crash level bonuses to their top execs. When they start honoring their civic duty, they may get a less bad rap.

4. Do you think Corporations purposely kill workers for profits?

I think that legally they are liable if they do, and it is their right to defend themselves in court. I know of many cases that have been settled instead of litigated, as they should have been. I will refer specifically to the class action suit settled by a certain asbestos manufacturer; their stock soared the day the decision was announced. This only proves that the reality, that a corporation has assessed the liability/profit ratio and come out ahead in the risk, exists.

5. Do you think George Bush is an evil person?

It is my belief that, yes, George W. Bush is definitely evil in spirit and character, only because of the scores of evils that have his fingerprints all over them. I believe that Dick Cheney makes Bush’s evils look tiny in comparison, but lends credence to the premise.

6. Do you think George Bush purposely lied to get us involved in 2 wars?

Yep.

7. Do you think George Bush or the American government was involved in the planning and execution of the 9/11 attacks?

This is the toughest one. I think that it is possible that a group of evil men would commit mass murder in order to gain power and money. If it was, it would be the saddest outcome of all for the great experiment … I also believe that if it was, this evil treason to the values of the forefathers is the only crime worthy of capital punishment — followed by mandatory hell in eternity. I also believe that there is evidence that is none too convenient to Dick Cheney that on the day of 911 he was telling responders to stand down and that Lee Hamilton is a well-known whitewash man for Bush family scandals. (See Silverado Savings and Loan and Iran Contra.)

8. Do you think George Bush personally profited from the 2 wars?

No, he’s rich already, but the vice president did, illegally I might add. Blackwater sure did, while besmirching brand America to no end. Not to mention the many corporations that pumped [unmetered, untraceable] Iraqi oil out of the ground for years. I take it back, George profited big time from the gratitude and adulation he got from his fat cat cronies. They are even creating a library to further the whitewashing of his corrupt administration.
That’s profit.

9. Do you think that a Communist form of government would be better for the U.S.?

What kind of question is this? Are you Joe McCarthy? Seriously, this question defies taste or logic, but, in the spirit of the game, I’ll say not until many years after we are dead.

10. Do you think the Republican Party is the party of “No” because they won’t help pass Obama’s type of health care reform?

The Republican Party is the party of no because they have no hope of getting back into power while they are headed by a bunch of right-wing lunatics. I have been incognito in a room when Boehner harassed contributors with threats of jail if Obama was elected. (That could still happen I suppose, what with the utter malfeasance of the past administration.) Yes, I believe that they are the party of ‘no’ because they won’t help pass any kind of reform that does not directly line the pockets of their big corporate contributors.

I hope you enjoy and can digest my responses to Good News. I will now point out that the way these are couched they’re decidedly leading. “Hell no” is neither believable nor possible as an answer for such complicated subjects. These questions are designed to corral the responses in the way I see being done on Fox all the time, and then they claim the results back up their reporting. Nice closed circuit of reality they’ve made for themselves.

Now, for you other readers, respond yourselves to Good News with my blessing … he’s growing with each of your responses. I think Good News is representative of most wingers, they are going to have to be sure they’re safe and are going to have to be dragged screaming into the 21st century, so when they are judged they can say that they were forced to step into reality. It’s a comfort zone I will happily allow them. Once they reject this right-wing paranoia and fear, I dare say they will be better citizens than most of us. And that’s what we’re shootin’ for, ultimately.

Peace and prosperity to America.

The NP thinks we should all respond to the questions with our own voices, no one needs to tell anyone where they can find the Chicago rants and raves — just check Craigslist Chicago or many other political forums!

Thank you,
The News Pauper

Contact the author at WBDunne@ltsaloon.org

2010 W.B. Dunne. All Rights Reserved.