Ye Olde Scribe Presents: Magic Bull It Theories

Picture courtesy jdfarms.com

Pundits and politicians lining up to deliver conspiracy laden talking points.

Now that our illegitimate, darkie, leader has successfully hidden the fact his placenta was cut off out of the You S Uv Ay, probably in the country known as Fonzieland… (“Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!”), and his gang of thug supporters went back in time to photoshop his “long” form, also providing him a previous to Osama’s death unknown huge set of cojones… on to the next witless, oops, YOS meant to type “witness-less,” conspiracy…

Now the “true story” can be told.

It all started on a grassy knoll.

Pot grassy, Scribe thinks, considering some of the current comments and past conspiracy theories.

Where al Ky-dee, named after Al, who you could call Pal, or Sal, or… noticed the sharpshooter overlooking that little, sleepy, Pakistan villa in an equally sleepy, small, village. The sharpshooter who shot the magic bullet that oft our hero, Binny Boy.

Binny Boy had been peacefully living in this village since, oh say, September 11th, 2001, after this villa was purchased and built by money supplied by a mysterious stranger. (“Junior, cough, cough.”) Thanks in the form of the fanciest place in town, thanks for fulfilling some little boy-King’s fantasy, and bringing on a “New American Century.”

“Fanciest place in town” doesn’t say much, but our hero was a humble man. Saintly. “Saintly” in both a Ronald Reagan negotiates for the release of the hostages to win an election, then arm and train future terrorists who attacked America, kinda way.

All of the above is pure speculation, of course.

(Cough, cough.)

Well, this vile assassin shot out this magic bullet shortly after Binny noticed him on the grassy knoll and, in a loud voice for all to hear, said, “I surrender,” in all the different languages, at the same time… just in case the assassin hadn’t been sent by our vile darkie, illegitimate, leader. The language with the vocal clicks was tough, but the hero of the American Reich Wing was a very talented man.

The bullet went through O’Connelly’s penis, turned around in mid air, pierced Mickey Mouse’s nose, killed Oswald, then blew through the head of our fearless leader.

Moose and squirrel held a big party.

Meanwhile Greta Van Pancake Face SLUSH-teren and HAG-n Kelly have been waiting by the ocean, like Mother Mary and Mary Magdalene, hoping the beloved will rise again, without his heavenly virgins. They really have had the hots for this guy for a LONG time.

Brave Americans unite! You have nothing to lose except your freedoms, and your lives if you dare disagree! This darkie who personally fired the gun that MURDERED our hero; Osama bin Laden, killed a saint who did NOTHING wrong, and bequeathed a lot of talking points to Handjob Hannity, Lush Dimbulb, Bill O’LIElly, Glen Beckus the Schmeeckus, Michelle BLEECHmann and Sarah Impale You in the Ear with Her Voice-in… and their fellow mental midgets.

NOTE FROM YOS- None of the above is true, obviously ALL is absurd, some of it quite racist, but EVERY WORD was intended to be a satire on the conspiracy laden BS bull-its the Reich Wing keeps firing into the national discourse.