Beer Pong VS Ben&Jerry’s

Here’s a little discussion about vice to clear Ana’s head.

 

Whoa - at least I didn't bring home the fat chick....

Ana has a vice – it’s food. I am a glutton. I like food of all kinds. Healthy food like fresh fruit and vegetables, and unhealthy junk food too. My big problem is sweets. I have a real problem resisting confections – candy, cake, ice cream, cookies. I have no problem admitting that this vice is bad for my health, and I do work hard at curbing my appetites.

Here’s what’s making me unhappy. Never once has eating a piece (or several pieces) of chocolate cake caused me to call someone up in the middle of the night and have long, rambling, non-nonsensical conversations. Nor have I lost time at work because I was hung over from eating too much ice cream. I have never vomited in someone’s car for having a milkshake with my burger and fries.

Bakeries do not have to be forced to close their doors at a certain time so that their customers will go home. We do not have to call the candy store and ask them to tell their clients to stop shouting obscenities and hooting and hollering while we are trying to sleep. Ambulances do not show up because some fatty left the deli and unknowingly wandered down the middle of the street into a busy intersection.

I have never beaten my spouse or one of my kids, or even kicked the dog,

because I had too many slices of pizza.

Yet – I – am considered to have a problem?

My size makes me fair game for jokes, slurs and discrimination. My size makes me unattractive – unless of course there’s enough alcohol involved to make the guy see me through beer goggles, and me indiscriminate enough to take his offer.

One of my grand-mothers was in the temperance movement. I think it had to do with an abusive father. Other than knowing that Prohibition didn’t work, and that it allowed for the expansion of organized crime, I’d probably support it now.

Though I also know many folks who do drink responsibly.

How successful are the programs in countries that have severe penalties for drunkeness?