Breakfast in a Box

“Summertime, and the livin’ is easy….” G. Gershwin

Well – not really. Summertime used to mean a laid back time of relaxed mornings, skipping rope with friends and coming home late and muddy from playing in the woods and creeks. Now, with Momma working, it’s a whole new set of schedules for summer camps and day care.

Though there is a return to one morning ritual – breakfast at home.

To ease the process amidst folks getting ready for work, Mom bought a box of frozen breakfast sandwiches. Theoretically you simply take them out of the package, wrap in a paper towel, and nuke for 45 seconds.
Theoretically the industrially raised, butchered and prepared pork, cheese and eggs will then be ready to eat all snug and warm in their chemically laden biscuit.

Theoretically.

What actually happens is that the biscuit gets too hot and becomes hard, while the sausage is still cold. Now ,they are pre-cooked, so it’s not raw, but still yuck! So instead you pry the frozen pieces apart while trying to not destroy the biscuit, microwave until the biscuit and cheese are warm and the eggs are overcooked, and then put the sausage back in the nuke until it’s warm. You now have a fully cooked, presumably safe to eat sandwich, that is tough as shoe leather and tasteless….but hey, wasn’t that easy?

No.   Not really.

I was going to insert an image here,

but all the images I found were unrealistically edible looking.

Grandma – who is a cranky old bat in the morning -especially on mornings she has to go to work, and before her second or third cup of coffee – finds this whole thing incredibly annoying. But then Grandma had the same breakfast for two decades of working in the wee hours of the morning… peanut butter on toast with coffee, consumed in the car while trying to get to work by 3am.
Grandma loves having coffee on the porch in the quiet hours, and putting off breakfast until say – lunchtime-, but once the traffic and hubbub of the work day starts – her nerves get rattled and her fuse is short.
That said – Grandma is going to try cooking breakfast from scratch tomorrow.
Pasture raised eggs and pork, freshly toasted english muffins, and decent cheese.

And coffee, don’t forget the coffee.