Author Archives: Ken Carman

Inspection- Were the Writers Bored?

 Today; Inauguration Day, will be a day filled with angst and bravado. Among the writers who fill the role of doomsayers, and the proud, I decided to offer something a little different.

by Ken Carman


 For over 30 years I spent up to 10 months out of the year touring the east coast with my own shows for young children. I also helped older children write their Inspection
own stories. I’ve been writing one of my columns since 72, as well as many other projects.
 My own writing process over the years has morphed into write, rewrite, erase and the occasional grumpfest where I toss it all away and start again. I find some of my best, and worst, work has been when I’m bored. Some columns never see publication, which include at least two Inauguration Day editions. These still born garbage can babies were abandoned because they bored me, despite a few clever lines here and there.
 There’s only so much rewriting the writer’s version of Groundhog’s Day can do to spice up writing.
 I believe most creative people tend to relive, revisit, what they do like Bill Murray’s character. Other times they’re so bored they take right angles, “right” being interesting usage considering the changes this Inauguration Day. Read more

Inspection- They WISH They ALL Could Be California Votes

by Ken Carman


 In my head I can hear the remake of the old Beach Boys song as I type…Inspection
 You must have heard the talking point already, some variant on, “Those are all California votes.” You know the 2.8 million votes Emperor to be Trump wants to dismiss as all illegal voters, with absolutely no proof?
 Horse pucky. Why? Stay tuned. Read more

Inspection- Be Careful: Humanity BITES (A New Year’s Wish)

by Ken Carman

 This is my 2016/2017 New Year’s wish…
  May we never have aliens come to our planet to conquer us. We are too ripe for the picking. Far Inspectiontoo often our very nature is poison fruit. Humanity is toxic to other lifeforms sometimes, but even more so to itself.
   The usual SciFi formula is aliens come to our planet and just mow us down, try to terraform us out of existence, release some virus, and humanity wins the fight because they join together for the greater good. I think War of the Worlds may have had that formula down better than most. Defeat would more likely come by their own miscalculation than humanity’s efforts. After all, maybe Russians can effectively hack us…or not, but does anyone sincerely think some Jeff Goldblum-like guy can hack into their computers, or those computers are even remotely like ours? It took us years to get Mac and Micro somewhat compatible. And, being advanced, what if they happen to hack into our computers and find an advance copy of MicoShaft 2099 XE: the Planet Executioner’s Edition and we’re all immediately deleted? Read more

Inspection- An Answer for Your Right Wing, Electoral College, Loving Friends

Right on cue, as I polished off this column, late last week Bill O’Reilly repeated the very same talking points I challenge in this edition. Of course, as per usual O’Reilly “logic” he had it exactly backwards; claiming those who want to eliminate the Electoral College are playing race-based politics. No, Bill, it’s those who are arguing for white superiority when it comes to the vote who are playing “race-based politics,” and historically one of your talking points originated in race-based politics. By the way, Bill, like many of your usual tirades, why am I not surprised you would back a white supremacist-like view?

by Ken Carman

  The scene: a homebrew club event in Pensacola.
  The argument: why the Electoral College was more “fair” than the popular Inspection vote, and why we should rely on something like the College more when it comes to voting in general. Through this we see future plans to skew the vote in their favor.
 ”Evidence” given that the Electoral College is “more fair:” colored map of U.S. showing vast tracts of land that’s purple, or just red.
  My response: “Land doesn’t vote.”
  But this topic goes even deeper than that, or even deeper than what I stated next, “If you want to have more influence, then move.” Read more

Inspection- Post Election Notes for Bernie and Hillary Supporters

by Ken Carman

 There are some hard lessons to learn in 2016. And Inspectionfew Hillary supporters, or Bernie purists, will really want to read about them. As a community: and I use “community” in the loosest terms possible, we keep wanting to go back to Bernie the spoiler, Hillary was a horrible candidate, dynamic. (And damn near Satan incarnate, if you read some comments on Facecrack.)
 But your humble columnist is here to serve up this plate of, “Get over yourself and face the real problems,” humble pie, anyway.
 You’re welcome. Read more

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