Before the Main Event
Hear Ye, Hear, Hear Ye! Some of this is read in the South. Ye haw! Hee Haw! But it’s not sound, it’s digital print. OK, pardner, just read! (In the day of Twitter, tweets, texting, is reading going the way of Dino? Let’s ask him…
Oh, sorry Dean. Readers of YOS haven’t seen much from him in a while because he’s hiding out in his secret underground Archie Bunker built when Darth Cheney almost bombed the country, but decided his employee, Binny Boy, might just give us a good scare. It’s in the Berserk-shires, or was that the Ctscan-skills? YOS only writes his not so trademarked satire occasionally now, as he awaits Orangeman’s apoxonusall-aggedon.
“Oligarchy is us.”
Regarding Asset #110816: Donald J Suck Up Puppet Trump
“I don’t know Scribe. I’m dead. Don’t know what I’m doing here. But he thought I’d be able to reintroduce a comedy pundit who used to post here. While we all wait for the press of the end of the world button by who YOS refers to as the the present ‘Presidential Orange Turd’, maybe he’ll make you laugh with a, ‘NUKE… NUKE… NUKE?'”
Ye Olde has been absent for far too long. Here’s a brief start to a new round of satire, parody and Scribe
“Washington Suicide Line.”
“I need help.”
“We’re the suicide line.”
“I’m can’t deal with someone anymore, but I have to. He insults everyone.” Read more
After Melanoma Trump’s fine speech Republican leaders declared that Michelle Obama pre-plagiarized her speech. Apparently pictures of the time machine she used surfaced on that great arbiter of truth: Facebook, to go forward to the 2016 GOP convention and steal the rhetorical rug right out from under Trump’s dainty little feet.
Currently they are looking for her enabler, a young Mr. Griffin, who invented the time machine.
The End Time Gazette
Welcome to the former End Times Gazette where we still celebrate the coming end time! However the all powerful, all knowing Lord/Allah needs our help. How can he be both all powerful and all knowing and still need our help you might ask?
SILENCE, INFIDEL! BE QUIET HERETIC!
We had hoped religion would bring on the End Times. We had hoped fanatics claiming to be atheists would bring it on. We even expected Germany and Japan to bring it on. All to no avail.
We expected it during the Dark Ages, the Great Depression, the plague… so many holy, blessed points in history. But somehow sinful, decadent humanity survived. Therefore our change of name and purpose: we are now actively helping to raise the next generation to help Allah, help Jesus, exterminate poor pitiful infidels, heretics, kittens and puppies. Especially cute puppies and kittens. EWE.
In this issue…
- Fracking: see how the blessed frackers are rushing the end times by shoving God’s holy poisons down planet Earth’s Lemiwink-ish anus and enabling the divine’s effort to destroy the world with fracking inspired earthquakes that shakes our world down to the very… core. Written by in house writer Mickey MANTLE
- Corporatism: who says corporations have to give a damn about humanity, be safe, treat workers with respect and not put them into unnecessary dangerous situations? As our future president would say, doesn’t profit TRUMP all? Well except if it’s profit from that pansy solar, or wind power. How the corporations are people trend has created super people who have more rights than anyone else. How they’ll rush the end times with worldwide profits at the expense of the planet, like those obtained through “Frack U: all we care about is the bottom line” policies. How scams and dishonest marketing serve Allah and Christ. By in house writer CEO Daddy Warbucks
- Bought politicians: how they enable the end times. They are many. How to marginalize, even take out, those who refuse to be bought. We’re talking about you, Bernie. Watch your back. Written by Hillary and Donald.
Welcome to our reader’s letters forum. Please keep comments up to the highest, most fanatical level, as represented by the worst, most homicidal of those who claim to be of either faith. In Jesus’ name we pray, praise Allah.
YE OLDE SCRIBE PRESENTS….
The Acceptance Speech After the ME Campaign