Tag Archives: Bill Clinton

Perilous Predictions for 2011

  • Early in the year, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney both confess that from the very beginning the whole weapons of mass destruction/al-Qaeda had ties to Saddam Hussein thing was a total fabrication – and – the entire Iraq War was a total fraud that was all about Big Oil.  Criminal proceedings begin.  The next day on his show, Rush Limbaugh explains to his audience that the confessions were false, based on a voodoo curse put on them by Bill Clinton before he left office.  The day after that,  a Rasmussen poll will show that 20% of the American population buys into this.  Thus, the beginning of the “curser movement.”
  • In late spring, Glenn Beck will define the following groups as “domestic terrorists” – all public school teachers, all union members, all Democrats, all moderate Republicans, The Humane Society, The Red Cross, Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts of America and Christian Scientists.  The next day, a CBS/NY Times poll shows 29% of the American population buy into this.
  • Sarah Palin develops a severe eating disorder and accuses Michelle Obama of trying to cut off her credit with Dominoes Pizza.
  • Failed Teabagger endorsed Nevada Senatorial Candidate Sharron Angle returns to the media spotlight by demanding not only an end to Social Security, but a demand that the government force all current retires to not only lose their monthly benefits, but also work in forced labor camps to repay the government the Social Security “largess” they’ve already received.   Teabaggers cheerfully endorse Angle’s proposal at a national Teabag convention.  Estimates have it that 67% of Teabaggers in attendance are retirees.
  • K Street Lobbyists heavily lobby Congress to change the wording of the Pledge of Allegiance to “and to the oligarchy, for which it stands, one nation, totally divided, with liberty and justice only to the highest bidder.”  Republican leaders in both the House and Senate go on board with this instantly.  “Self styled Socialist” Senator Bernie Sanders(I-VT)  also endorses the idea but notes he interprets the re-wording as creative sarcasm.  Upon hearing this,  Senator Mitch McConnell(R-KY) immediately calls for Senator Sanders to be deported.
  • Space Aliens invade America later in the year.  After watching C-Span for 5 minutes, they re-occupy their space ships and head back for home.

The Tattlesnake Why the GOP Hates ACORN and the Poor Edition

Remember those ACORN-office videos that a right-wing ringer named James O’Keefe, posing as a pimp, surreptitiously taped with Hannah Giles, a young woman pretending to be his prostitute, that were a media kerfluffle a few months back?

Watching them gave me a familiar feeling it was the same feeling I had back in 2003 when glowering TV Doctor Colin Powell, performing at the U.N. Club in New York, shook a vial of white powder in front of the camera and claimed it was Saddam’s Very Own Anthrax. The feeling only increased when ‘Dr.’ Powell produced artist’s renderings of super-secret Iraqi chemical-labs-on-wheels, views that we apparently couldn’t catch photographically from sophisticated spy satellites or aerial reconnaisance overflights because well, he never actually said why.

This feeling, as close as I can come to describing it, is akin to doing Houdini’s Chinese Water Torture trick, wherein the master magician was suspended upside-down in a glass-paneled cabinet filled to the top with water — only instead of water, imagine horse manure.

The Tattler was wincing with disgust while laughing as I watched geeky white boy O’Keefe, dressed for all the world like Sonny Bono when he had Cher, babe, trying to pass himself off as Mr. Bad Ass Pimp to a collection of black women from the ‘Hood who had doubtless seen the real thing at sometime in their lives it was like casting Wally Cox as Don Vito Corleone: “Gee whillikers, we’ll make ’em an offer they won’t get mad at and refuse!”

Hannah didnt play her role much better she was dumb enough, but a little too clean and preppy but hers wasn’t the important role.

The college-educated ofay voice of O’Keefe, in the same tone as a census-taker, earnestly asking for help to avoid paying his pimp taxes and advice in running a brothel with underage girls rightfully had the ACORN women stifling grins. This was a surreal spectacle that only a teabagger could swallow whole without gagging on the absurdity.

Well, a teabagger, our vacuous illiberal media, and the growing crop of space cadets in our Congress.

It was expected that the GOP would indulge in their usual over-popped level of fake moral outrage they paid for the video, after all — and the pundits live off their crumbs, but couldn’t we have had at least one Democrat call ‘bullshit’ on this silly nonsense? No one but a halfwit would believe this skinny white boy wearing his mother’s old chinchilla coat is actually a pimp, and anybody who’s been around a city block more than once knows it. But the risible sight of O’Keefe in his cartoon pimp outfit is instructive, both as to the contempt with which the corporate Republican elite hold the public, and to their knee-shaking fear of the extension of democracy and equality to people without money.

The Republican Party’s fringe-right wingnuts, excuse me for repeating myself, have long had a bitter grudge against ACORN, the community service group that registers voters and helps poor people. Why? Because, to put it simply, the GOP hates the poor, even though they work diligently to produce more of them to reward their corporate backers with a large pool of ever-cheaper labor. This is filtered through several levels of the corporate Republican psyche:

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Ensign Resign? Keep Dreaming!

Cartoon Ensign's Hypocrisy

“Last year I had an affair. I violated the vows of my marriage. It is the worst thing I have ever done in my life. If there was ever anything in my life that I could take back, this would be it.”
— Sen. John Ensign (R-NV) on June 16, 2009, as quoted by the AP. “Sen Ensign Admits Affair with Ex-Campaign Staffer

“Our families were close That closeness put me into situations which led to my inappropriate behavior. We caused deep pain to both families and for that I am sorry.”
— Sen. John Ensign (R-NV) on June 16, 2009, as quoted by the AP.
Ex-Campaign Aide to Sen. Ensign Confirms Affair

“A born-again Christian, Ensign has been a member of the Promise Keepers, a male evangelical group that promotes marital fidelity.”
— Manu Raju, et al, “Admission clouds Nevada Sen. John Ensign’s future,” Politico.com, June 16, 2009.

“There’s too many people that paint with a broad brush that we’re all corrupt, we’re all amoralAnd having these kinds of things happen, whether it’s a Republican or Democratic senator we certainly have had plenty of Democratic scandals in the past we need people who are in office who will hold themselves to a little higher standard.”
— Sen. John Ensign, as quoted by CNN’s Political Ticker, Oct. 18, 2007.

“This is a personal situation and I hope he gets it resolved.”
— Sen Lindsey Graham (R-SC) on Ensign’s affair, as quoted at Politico.com. [Graham wasn’t quite as generous to Bill Clinton.]

“Im pulling for him.”
— Sen. Harry Reid (D-Idiot) on Ensign’s adultery, forgetting what team he’s supposed to be playing on, as quoted at Politico.com.

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