Just a little Sunday fun-day stuff, strictly for laughs:
“Every day, people come in and you just think, ‘You gotta be kidding me’,” says a Florida emergency room doctor. “I mean, what makes a guy think using a fish hook to clean out ear wax is a good idea?”
With that, some information about why people go to the E.R. in the United States, as purportedly collected by the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission.
— In 2001, a 33-year-old man suffered severe burns after dropping a lit cigarette into toilet filled with oil and water on which he was sitting. Girlfriend was trying to surprise him for birthday by cleaning his motorcycle and dumped old oil and gas-soaked rags in toilet. He was surprised.
— In 2001, a 40-year-old woman complained of severe discomfort after using barbecue grill lighter fluid as feminine hygiene product. Claimed she was “freshening up” before backyard party.
— In 2002, a 59-year-old man shot wife’s foot with .22-caliber rifle after mistaking her ‘bunny head’ bedroom slippers for ‘varmint’ at 3:AM. Foot was only grazed.
— In 2002: “Patient is stable and recovering well after literally catching a bus. Patient grabbed back bumper and was dragged over two blocks before driver noticed him and stopped. Patient said he was late for work, but would try a different route next time instead.”
— In 2003, a 44-year-old father was treated for broken bones from a fall off a garage roof after he tried to parasail using old shower curtain. Was “showing two sons principles of aeronautics.”
— In 2004, a 24-year-old woman said she slipped in the shower — when she stepped on a basketball.