Tag Archives: Fake News

Beck is Just Asking Questions?

Six Dead, Scores Injured at Manhattan Theater

Talk Show Host Glenn Beck Questioned in Wild Riot

By Wendell Swynn
The New York Post-American
February 11, 2010

NEW YORK Police are still investigating who or what caused a panicked m魩e Wednesday night at The Public Square Theater in downtown Manhattan that killed six and sent at least twenty-five to the hospital, but senior NYPD sources close to the investigation say that Glenn Beck, a Fox News cable channel talk show host, is now a ‘person of interest’ and undergoing intensive interrogation.

Suspicion has centered on Mr. Beck as several eyewitnesses reported the controversial television host stood up and began shouting ‘fire’ midway through a showing of the Michael Moore film, “Capitalism: A Love Story.”

“I saw him, he was down front,” said Mr. Horace Nubbin, a Brooklyn cabdriver, referring to Mr. Beck, “and he jumped up suddenly and started yelling the place was on fire. I just grabbed my kids and ran, along with hundreds of other people.”

Venola Gaye, a waitress from Queens, described the ensuing fracas, “People were just trampling each other trying to get to the exits it was horrible, the theater was packed. Me and my family were lucky we were in the seats in back, so we got out easy. What was this guy thinking? Did he think this was some big joke or something?”

Before being taken into custody, Mr. Beck admitted to reporters that he shouted ‘fire,’ but said it was only meant as a question. “You know, it was like, ‘are you ready for a fire?’ or speculating, ‘what if we had a fire started by city inspectors for some reason’ or ‘what if the management of the theater lit the place on fire for the insurance money?’ You know, I’m just a rodeo clown and I say what’s on my mind. I can’t help it if some people don’t get the context or whatever. I was just posing possibilities and asking questions.”

But witnesses disagree. Mr. Euell Doonce from Long Island, who was sitting a row behind Mr. Beck, said, “He was mumbling something low and inaudible but when he said ‘fire’ he screamed it at the top of his lungs, several times.” His wife Umelda, also a witness, added, “There’s no doubt he started this panic. This wiseacre ought to be thrown in jail.”

At press time, authorities had not determined whether Mr. Beck would be charged, but various witnesses reported that Mr. Beck was sitting with two men who were also yelling ‘fire’ in unison with Mr. Beck. It’s been alleged that the pair were radio talker Rush Limbaugh and Fox News host Sean Hannity. Both men are being sought by police for questioning.

The Tattlesnake: What Fools These Morsels Be Edition

Separate the wheat from the chaff in this April Fool’s Day quiz: which are the real news items and which are the fakes (and no cheating with the Google):

1. Pacino Eyes Run at NY Senate Seat
(New York Daily News)
Excerpt: “The veteran actor told the Daily News that he thinks ‘the time is ripe for progress, and I can bring the progress.'” []
“On the inevitable comparisons to his role as mobster Michael Corleone in ‘The Godfather,’ he said, ‘If a little ‘Michael’ helps me get things done in Washington, that’s not a bad thing is it?'”

2. Octomom Admits Praying to Satan
(Christian Science Monitor)
Excerpt: “Saying she was frustrated with her life at the time and what she termed ‘God’s dissing me totally,’ Nadya Suleman revealed today that she prayed for Satan’s help a week before she found out she was pregnant with octuplets” []
“‘I was really desperate and felt like a real loser,’ she said, ‘and I’d never do it again.'”

3. Florida Attorney General Reopens Limbaugh Drug Case
(Reuters)
Excerpt: “Florida Attorney General Bill McCollum told the Miami Herald Wednesday that, based on grand jury testimony in an unrelated drug case, he has sufficient evidence that the talk show host violated his probation by continuing to use narcotics after the date of his plea agreement.” []
“Roy Black, Mr. Limbaugh’s attorney, claimed no such agreement was ever struck with the court.”

4. Miss Universe and Miss USA Tour Guantanamo
(Associated Press)
Excerpt: “Miss Universe and Miss USA have taken a firsthand look at the U.S. prison for terrorism suspects at Guantanamo Bay.” []
“‘I didn’t want to leave, it was such a relaxing place, so calm and beautiful,’ [Miss Universe Dayana] Mendoza wrote on [her] blog.”

5. Something Fowl in Customs
(MSN)
Excerpt: “A 23-year-old man flew into Australia with a pair of pigeons hidden in his pants. According to the Australian Customs and Border Protection Service, the man was concealing a live pigeon in each leg of his trousers.”

6. CNBC Hires Ex-Treasury Secy. Paulson as Analyst
(Bloomberg)
Excerpt: “‘What better business analyst can you have than a former secretary of the treasury?’ asked Dan Bledsoe, the cable financial channel’s senior V.P. for programming. “This will amp up our credibility 1000 percent.'”

7. Zucker Plans ’24’ Spin-Off to Star Garofalo
(Entertainment Weekly)
Excerpt: “David Zucker, executive producer of Fox’s hit show ’24,’ has announced Tuesday that he will launch a similar program starring controversial actress Janeane Garofalo as a government agent who ‘does her own thing, law-wise’ tentatively titled ‘The 24 Woman’. []
“‘It will appeal it the same audience as the current show, same format,’ Zucker said, ‘With a little more sexiness from Janeane, but there will be plenty of rock’ em, sock ’em action.'”

Click ‘Read on’ for the answers.

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