Tag Archives: Hillary Clinton

The Tattlesnake Was Wrong Edition

“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”
— Mark Twain

In previous editions of The Tattler, some drunken idiot wrote piffle such as:

“Well, it’s three days after Thanksgiving and Hillary Clinton has still not been named as Obama’s Secretary of State. I just don’t think it’s going to happen.”

Well, it did happen, last Monday, and, I confess, the drunken idiot was staring back at me from the mirror this morning. (I am now hunched into a Basil Fawlty ball, hopping around with my head between my hands in disgust with myself.)

In another edition of The Tattler posted here November 18, 2008, “The Tattlesnake Big Media Hillary Silly Season in Full Swing Edition,” I hilariously typed:

“Lost in most of their [the Big Media] circuitous gossip is any sort of common-sense analysis: Why would Hillary give up her powerful senate seat, and an excellent chance to be Senate Majority Leader, to serve as a peripatetic foreign service factotum in Obama’s government? The appointment would also proscribe her from criticizing him should things go sour, thereby tainting her bid for the 2012 nomination. Quick, name the last five Secretaries of State before Condi and look at what has happened to them. I think it’s fair to say the energetic Sen. Clinton doesn’t desire to live out her days lounging in academia, playing golf, or filling space on the board of some think tank or corporation, publishing occasional knotted-brow op-ed pieces in The New York Times.”

Those were, I felt, valid questions IF Sen. Clinton wanted to be president some day but, since then, I’ve checked with an Anonymous Source Close to the Obama Camp (just like the Mighty NYT!) and gathered some exclusive background that changes the picture considerably.

First off, my A.S.C.O.C. says Hillary doesn’t desire the presidency any longer. She allegedly feels that 2008 was her best shot and she hates ‘mass-market’ retail campaigning. (Hubby Bill is the political animal who loves that glad-handing stuff.) Although she likes talking to people in small groups, the speaking to large gatherings, the endless traveling, the repeated stump speeches, and the sheer exhaustion of running for president turned the fire in her belly into a bad case of dyspepsia that she never wants to experience again.

Secondly, while she liked the Senate, her ability to work on the issues that most animated her — health care, economic justice and children’s rights — was limited, and she supposedly got The Word: even with her national celebrity, there would be no jumping ahead in line the junior senator from New York would have to wait her turn to become Majority Leader and that could take decades. (Even NY colleague Chuck Schumer is ahead of her in seniority.) Aside from that, the appointment as SoS relieved her of having to campaign for office again, and she and Obama have actually become friends since the summer and work well together. She’s willing to respect his office and policies, so there should be no conflict there, and she’s a popular figure overseas. Her keen intelligence and ability to quickly process new information are a relief to foreign leaders accustomed to dealing with the Bush-bedazzled Condi Rice.

Speaking of Bill Clinton, he’s already turned down taking Hill’s place in the Senate (not that it was offered), but is still considering a run at the Governor’s mansion in Albany. Word is, his wife wishes he would find something to occupy himself that won’t pose any problems in her new job. Governor of New York fills the bill, or vice versa.

From Obama’s standpoint, he not only removed his major political rival, but he’s also found a smart and tenacious ally he can trust to carry out his foreign policy, so it’s a ‘win-win’ for him.

BTW, as a side note, don’t worry about the Dems not having a filibuster-proof 60-vote majority in the Senate the Obamaites have been working behind the scenes with moderate-right Republicans like Maine Senators Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe, and a couple of other privately disaffected GOPers just as disgusted with the Bush years as Democrats, to keep Mitch McConnell and the Boys from Buzzkill from stopping change before it starts.

The Tattlesnake Big Media Hillary Silly Season in Full Swing Edition

Secretary of State Clinton? Much A Doo-Doo About Nothing

If it hasn’t been foreclosed on yet, don’t bet the family ranch that Hillary Clinton will be the next Secretary of State, nor even have a cabinet post in the Obama Administration.

With the long, slow political-junkie orgasm of the presidential campaign fading in the rearview mirror, the ‘Pundints’ now have little to talk about; certainly they don’t find the baffling Bush Boy’s latest incoherence on the economy “I continue to support the neocon free market policies that caused this horrible financial meltdown!” worth examining to do so might remind the audience of how much the Big Media Cognoscenti had to do with leading the lemmings off the cliff; the Palin Reality TV show “Who Wants to Be a President!” also has its limits how long before even avid dupes of Little Debbie Shortcake begin wondering why she hauls that baby around to every public appearance and detect that her political ideas are mostly an ungrammatical noun, an opportunistic verb, ‘Nothing’s my fault,’ ‘You betcha!’ and ‘God’s gonna show me the door’?

Even the three undetermined US Senate races don’t hold the BM Short Attention Span long the vituperation back and forth is good for a brief goose, but those complicated state voting laws! The crashing economy was respectable breathless stand-up fodder for a while “Melanie Blandstick, reporting from Wall Street, Ground Zero of our money crisis!” — but the pampered Lads and Lasses of the Golden Corporate Microphone are not employed for their intimate knowledge of the financial markets, nor much else, and there are only so many interviews you can do with ill-kempt and boring hustlers from the Heritage Foundation or the American Enterprise Institute, still pushing Milt Friedman’s Cap’n Capitalist Crunch cereal after the product has poisoned the country, and who’s Ayn Rand anyhow wasn’t she the wife in “Father Knows Best”? Iraq? Afghanistan? Iran? Whoa, dude, you’re bumming my trip!

So, of course, with little they consider ‘real news’ going on, they retreat into their favorite past time endless speculation based on sketchy evidence, as shouted through a megaphone in the Grand Canyon to insure every Big Media Mouthpiece is regurgitating the same dull incantations.

The latest prime example of this is NBC’s Andrea “Mrs. Greenspan” Mitchell floating an anonymously-sourced story last week that Obama would offer the position of Secretary of State to Hillary Clinton, when the only thing that has thus far been confirmed was that Hillary flew to Chicago for a meeting with the President-Elect. For days since, the Punditrocracy has been foaming at the mouth, leaving no entrails unturned in their white-hot desire to tiresomely discuss to death the possibility of Hillary as the top national diplomat.

Using the same superior detective skills that in the past led them to deduce that the 2008 election would be about national security; that Republicans just loved Rudy Giuliani, that McCain would inevitably pick either Mitt Romney or Tim Pawlenty as his running mate; that Obama had to choose Hillary Clinton as his Veep or lose the election; that American women would mindlessly flock to the GOP after Sarah Palin’s unveiling; that Obama would have a tough time attracting working class voters in Rust Belt states; and that the Dem presidential ticket would, maybe, possibly, eke out a tiny victory in the Electoral College in a very tight race because, after all, this was basically a conservative nation in spite of this dismal record of comic prognostication, they forge ahead, this time with the latest vapid gasper of Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State.

Lost in most of their circuitous gossip is any sort of common-sense analysis: Why would Hillary give up her powerful senate seat, and an excellent chance to be Senate Majority Leader, to serve as a peripatetic foreign service factotum in Obama’s government? The appointment would also proscribe her from criticizing him should things go sour, thereby tainting her bid for the 2012 nomination. Quick, name the last five Secretaries of State before Condi and look at what has happened to them. I think it’s fair to say the energetic Sen. Clinton doesn’t desire to live out her days lounging in academia, playing golf, or filling space on the board of some think tank or corporation, publishing occasional knotted-brow op-ed pieces in The New York Times.

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The Tattlesnake Dirty Dozen Political Quiz Edition

Think you were paying attention during the long 2008 election campaign? Grab a pen and paper and take the test below (and no cheating with the Google):

1. Hillary Clinton used it and lost. John McCain used it and lost. What was it?

2. Did John McCain actually have any casual, free-for-all talks with reporters on his ‘Straight Talk’ campaign jet as he did on his bus?

3. Obama confessed during the campaign to loving two white women in his life. Who were they?

4. According to news reports, what was McCain’s favorite breakfast?

5. Who said “there is absolutely no diva in me”?

a. Hillary Clinton
b. Sarah Palin
c. Michelle Obama
d. Cindy McCain

6. After Obama’s landslide, which famous former broadcast network anchorman continued to declare this was a ‘center-right’ country?

7. Which McCain campaign aide told the media that they wouldn’t be allowed to interview Sarah Palin unless they were properly respectful?

8. What special award did Sarah Palin win at the Miss Alaska beauty contest?

9. What did Obama promise his two daughters he’d do if he became president?

10. From the items below, pick one that wasn’t an issue for Sarah Palin in the 2008 campaign:

a. Misusing her state expense account.
b. Abusing her power in attempting to fire a state trooper.
c. Overspending her McCain campaign clothing allowance.
d. Visiting a remote Aleutian island to ‘see Russia.’
e. Her involvement with the secessionist Alaska Independence Party.
f. Insulting members of the Alaska legislature on a radio show.
g. The crazy pastor at her Wasilla church.
h. Her close friendship with corrupt Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens.
i. The ‘Bridge to Nowhere’ that she accepted federal money to build.
j. Campaigning for the Reform Party presidential candidate in the 2000 election.

11. Was Sarah Palin ever asked by the media what the initials NAFTA stood for, or to name any countries in Africa?

12. Who said in April 2008: “I’m as healthy as the economy”?

a. John McCain
b. George W. Bush
c. Henry Paulson
d. Joe Biden
e. Alan Greenspan
f. Rush Limbaugh

Answers below the fold.

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The Tattlesnake — Media Mania: When Do We Draw the Line on This Nonsense? Edition

The latest overwrought BM (Big Media) guilt-by-association crapola has to do with Father Michael Pfleger making fun of Hillary as a guest speaker at Obama’s Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago. Predictably, Obama has had to apologize for this but why? Pfleger is a Catholic priest and Trinity UCC is Protestant, and Pfleger was just making a guest appearance in Obama’s church. What’s more, Obama wasn’t consulted about, nor was he there for, Pfleger’s You Tube star turn. Why should he have to apologize for anything Pfleger said? What’s next, will the BM, or Clinton’s campaign, demand he apologize for any errant thing that any member of his UCC congregation might say? (Pfleger, incidentally, apologized for his comments today.)

Say, whatever happened to free speech in this country and that you and only you are responsible for what you say?

When does this GBA madness stop, or when does the media start grilling McCain on some of his unsavory pals from the past, such as Charlie Keating, and his current crop of sleazy buddies, such as lobbyist Rick Davis, his campaign manager?

A little background on Pfleger: Years ago Mad Monk Mike Pfleger made the Chicago papers with his ‘brilliant’ proposal for an anti-drug law that prevented local shops from selling pipes and cigarette papers. Yeah, if those potheads and crack addicts don’t have pipes or papers, they won’t be able to figure out how to make a pipe out of a toilet paper roll and tin foil, or just go to the suburbs and buy what they need. Pfleger’s a flaky publicity hound and it’s a mystery why Trinity ever invited him to give a guest sermon.

The biggest BS moment this week on BM TV was Ann Lewis, a Clinton supporter and DLC Dem, babbling with Andrea Mitchell on MSNBC over Gerri Ferraro’s recent piece of dingbattery in the Boston Globe. Gerri’s back on her broken hobbyhorse, this time claiming that white women are afraid to criticize Obama because someone might call them a racist Earth to Gerri: it doesn’t seem to have slowed down your candidate — or yourself. It doesn’t seem to have stopped Andrea Mitchell, either. While Lewis tried to put a good face on Gerri’s half-mad ravings, she took the time to condemn Obama’s campaign for sexist remarks about Hillary, without specifying what she was talking about. Then she deposited the cherry on top by claiming Pfleger’s ridicule of Hillary was sexist. (I saw the video; he wasn’t making fun of her sex, just her campaign style.) Follow this pretzel logic: It’s wrong to call a white woman a racist for criticizing Obama, but if an Obama supporter criticizes Hillary, they’re automatically a sexist. Ann, are you now or have you ever been a Republican?

One note about Scotty McClellan: This former POTUS potty press air freshener is still flacking for Bush, even while he tries to purge his withered soul of years of publicly spewing horsepucky for every putrid top player in the Little King’s Confederacy of Dunces. I caught him last night on Olbermann and he was ludicrously pumping the fairytale that Bush planned to be a ‘uniter’ who ached to be a good president and went awry once in power, no doubt thanks to that Major League A-hole Cheney. This is sheer bunkum: Scotty has known the Bush Boy since Texas and Junior hasn’t changed since then he lazily and ignorantly ran the Lone Star state exactly the way he’s run the US government give away the store to his rich cronies, take long vacations, and let the peasants crawl for the crumbs. Speaking of which, it’s deeply hilarious to hear neocon nutbags like Bill O’Reilly condemn Scotty for gasp! authoring books for money! What, do Billo, Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity pen their fiction for free?

A Question: How long until MSNBC sells ‘news analyst’ and caucasian embarrassment Pat Buchanan’s contract to Fox News? Nixon’s former speechwriter and Southern Strategy cheerleader has increasingly been falling off the right-wing edge; he’s now barely hanging on by a thread of sanity, and it’s only a matter of time before the braying old Dixie-whistler drops the ‘N-word’ on Obama or some other dark-skinned candidate and is forced by management to take some time off from NBC to stand in the corner and knit another Confederate flag for the den.

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