More great satire from William K. Wolfrum and his Chronicles.
JERUSALEM Reported Messiah Jesus H. Christ has long been known for his hands-on approach to health care, especially when it came to the neediest amongst us. For many in the surrounding area, Christs talented hands were as close to health insurance as they could afford. But no more.
Following disappointing third-quarter projections, Christ has announced that he will only heal those that are both pure of heart and financially stable.
This is not a socialist regime, said Christ. First and foremost, Im a capitalist. And look at me, Im wearing dirty robes and cant afford a decent razor. This has become an unsustainable action.
Following a meeting with his followers, as well as industry lobbyists, Christ announced that he will no longer be giving humans the gift of health — unless they keep up with monthly premiums and co-pays.