Tag Archives: Larry Craig

Ensign Resign? Keep Dreaming!

Cartoon Ensign's Hypocrisy

“Last year I had an affair. I violated the vows of my marriage. It is the worst thing I have ever done in my life. If there was ever anything in my life that I could take back, this would be it.”
— Sen. John Ensign (R-NV) on June 16, 2009, as quoted by the AP. “Sen Ensign Admits Affair with Ex-Campaign Staffer

“Our families were close That closeness put me into situations which led to my inappropriate behavior. We caused deep pain to both families and for that I am sorry.”
— Sen. John Ensign (R-NV) on June 16, 2009, as quoted by the AP.
Ex-Campaign Aide to Sen. Ensign Confirms Affair

“A born-again Christian, Ensign has been a member of the Promise Keepers, a male evangelical group that promotes marital fidelity.”
— Manu Raju, et al, “Admission clouds Nevada Sen. John Ensign’s future,” Politico.com, June 16, 2009.

“There’s too many people that paint with a broad brush that we’re all corrupt, we’re all amoralAnd having these kinds of things happen, whether it’s a Republican or Democratic senator we certainly have had plenty of Democratic scandals in the past we need people who are in office who will hold themselves to a little higher standard.”
— Sen. John Ensign, as quoted by CNN’s Political Ticker, Oct. 18, 2007.

“This is a personal situation and I hope he gets it resolved.”
— Sen Lindsey Graham (R-SC) on Ensign’s affair, as quoted at Politico.com. [Graham wasn’t quite as generous to Bill Clinton.]

“Im pulling for him.”
— Sen. Harry Reid (D-Idiot) on Ensign’s adultery, forgetting what team he’s supposed to be playing on, as quoted at Politico.com.

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The Tattlesnake Lipstick on a Pygmalion Edition

Plus a Ray of Light on McCain’s Silly Phillie Charge and Other Diversions

“If your actions speak louder than words, you’re not yelling loud enough.”
— Stephen Colbert, October 20, 2008.

What’s up with God’s Own Hockey Mom, that plain small-town Wasilla girl we’ve all grown to know and love, dropping $150,000 bucks of RNC cash on clothes and jewelry from such snooty elitist shops as Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman-Marcus? Say it ain’t so, Joe has Alaska’s neo-secessionist pitbull become a pampered poodle, corrupted by her trip to the lower 48? (Perhaps it was associating with all those liberal socialists on Saturday Night Live is what did it, the same way as Obama meeting Bill Ayers turned him into a 1960s domestic terrorist by osmosis.) Jeepers, next we’ll find out she doesn’t know what the Vice President’s job is, according to the Constitution.

Speaking of Mrs. Bent Mooseburger, why isn’t the following a bigger story among the Big Media bobbleheadery? McCain’s Bullwinkle-Killer spent Alaska taxpayer money to drag the whole fam-damily along with her to various events, paying out $21,000 for daughters Piper, Willow and Bristol to travel and hotel in luxury at the public’s expense. Worse, she lied when she claimed that the kid’s were invited to these events and, worst of all, altered the expense accounts after the fact. Alaska law is clear: Gov. Palin’s expense account is to be used only for official state business, period. This used to be the kind of Enormous No-No that got state executives and those playing executives on TV fired, yet the BM has hardly peeped about it. C’mon, Beemers, step up to the plate here.

Speaking of stepping up to the plate (in the head), Cap’n McCrash is indulging in yet another head-scratcher by using Obama’s innocuous political hat-tip to both World Series contenders the Philadelphia Phillies and the Tampa Bay Rays — as some kind of example of BHO’s horrible hypocrisy. This is interesting since the Ol’ Straight-Talker himself, appearing on Pittsburgh TV station KDKA last July, recited his usual anecdote about telling his North Vietnamese captors way-back-when that some of the officers in his squadron were the starting offensive line of the Green Bay Packers, but for purposes of political pandering, changed the Packers to the defensive line of the Pittsburgh Steelers, even though the story was in his friggin’ book!

“When I was first interrogated and really had to give some information because of the pressures, physical pressures on me, I named the starting lineup, defensive line of the Pittsburgh Steelers as my squadron mates.”
— John McCain on KDKA-TV, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, July 2008.

“Pressed for more useful information, I gave the names of the Green Bay Packers offensive line, and said they were members of my squadron.”
— John McCain, from his book “Faith of My Fathers” (1999).

“Imagine if Al Gore or John Kerry had changed the facts of a story they told forever in order to appeal to whatever swing state they were speaking in? Also, the famous Steelers defensive line that McCain was trying to refer to (Mean Joe, L.C. etc.) didn’t become famous until after McCain was out of Vietnam.”
— Chuck Todd and Domenico Montanaro, MSNBC First Read, July 11, 2008.

Keep digging, Johnny!

Today’s Good News: Extra-crazy Minnesota wingnut Michele Bachmann, a Republican dipstick who somehow got herself elected to the US House of Representatives, channeled Joe McCarthy on Tweety’s Hardball show the other day thusly:

“What I would say is that the news media should do a penetrating expose and take a look — I wish they would. I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of people in Congress and find out, are they pro-America, or anti-America? I think people would love to see an expose like that.”
— Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) on MSNBC’s “Hardball,” Oct. 17, 2008.

The snapback to this sample of snippety loose-lippery has been two-fold: a.) Her Dem opponent, Elwyn Tinklenberg (and his invisible rabbit friend Harvey), has picked up over $800,000 in campaign contributions since her remark and b.) the National Republican Congressional Committee has pulled all ad money from her campaign, effectively ending her reelection bid. You can also bet that GOP Sen. Norm Coleman, falling behind in his race with Al Franken, will be distancing himself from this ding-a-ling at his earliest opportunity; at this point, she’s like a photo of Norm playing a round of men’s room footsie with Senate colleague Larry Craig. (Incidentally, by the Palin-McCain standard of guilt-by-association, doesn’t this mean Coleman’s gay? I mean, they know each other and Norm serves on a board with him, so to speak.) Buh-bye, Michele — here’s your pitchfork, what’s your hurry?

A Cautionary Warning: Rumor is the McCainiacs are hiring ‘urban street types’ read young black men ‘with an attitude’ dressed as ‘gangstas’ dripping gold chains and wearing head scarves or backwards baseball caps to show up at Obama events and do their best to get into the camera frame, especially in the background when BM reporters do their introductory ‘set-ups.’ They allegedly earn extra coin if they can manage to get themselves interviewed as a ‘typical Obama voter.’ Smell the fear of the frightened bull (O’Connor) elephant.