I Think Therefore
By Jenn Weinshenker
In my early years I remember thinking that if I was smart enough and applied myself sincerely enough to knowing the truth, one day, I would be able to sort it all out. I read great books and asked lots of questions and thought it was only a matter of time before the light would go on and I would understand the true meaning of life. I used to say to my Grandma, I wish I could pour all of the things you have learned into my head. And she would say, I wish you could too, baby.
I remember enjoying thought provoking discussions with a very dear friend in Boulder. He used to ask me the most interesting questions. Not because I had any answers — about the only thing I knew back then was how much I didnt know — but because he had an amazing, genuinely inclusive curiosity about every thing. We used to talk about freedom and discipline and meditation and study, and of course, the meaning of life. During one such conversation he said something to me that hit me like a shock wave reverberating through my thick skull. He told me that there were some questions that were unanswerable. I couldnt begin to grasp what he was saying. I was incapable of accepting that the questions I had been asking all of my life; didnt have answers to them out there somewhere. I couldnt appreciate the hard realizations he had lived through which gave him the ability to respond to my angst with such peace. Unanswerable questions? How could that be?