Tag Archives: McPalin

The Tattlesnake Electoral Enigmas and Other Wacky Weirdness Edition

Laugh-a-bull: McCain’s top pollster Bill McInturff appeared on MSNBC with Chuck “Not Related to Crazy Ashley” Todd on Halloween. To put it politely, McInturff was pissing up a rope trying to sell some bizarre notion that this election is somehow similar to 1984 and 1996 and is tightening up to the point that McPalin can pull off a win. Hell-o, Bill both those years featured a popular incumbent peacetime president and an economy that wasn’t crashing to the ground and taking a devastated middle class with it. He also blabbered on inanely about armies of older, rural white voters crawling to the polls to catapult Wrinkles and the Winker into the Oval Office. This is big-box absurd the majority of Americans, some 80 percent, live in or near a city there aren’t enough rural voters, even if every single one voted for Mac and Cheesy, to elect him as president. Todd can be commended for keeping a straight face during McInturff’s lunatic raving, no doubt designed to buck up the flagging morale of the depressed Republican base. (Hey, Bill, poll this: Obama’s a point behind McCain in his home state of Arizona four days before the election.)

Laugh-a-bull Two: What if the polls showed Bush the Junior suddenly popular with independent and undecided voters? McCain would be rushing to the nearest microphone, “My friends, I’d like to remind you that I voted with President Bush 92 percent of the time and Governor Palin and I embrace all of his wonderful policies! Why, I’m just like him!” with the High-Heeled Sneaker nodding in agreement, “Oh, you betcha! President Bush is the original maverick all right!”

Think About It: What if Obama had picked a vacuous lightweight like Sarah Palin? Imagine what the Sunday Morning Punditrocracy would be bloviating about then: “Unquestionably, Sen. Obama has shown very little regard for the American people and the office of the presidency with his vice presidential pick.” “Absolutely, George. It shows an unbelievable contempt for the public and reflects very badly on his judgment — it points up a total lack of maturity to do the job!” “And I understand he only interviewed her for an hour before choosing her!” “Simply incredible. I think with this rash and foolish decision, Sen. Obama has demonstrated he would be an extremely dangerous choice for president in these times of national crisis!” “You won’t find any disagreement with that on this panel, Cokie. We’ll be back after these messages.”

BTW: Who is paying for ‘average working guy with a publicist’ Joe the Plumber to bop around to McCain rallies and how did a $42,000-a-year plumber’s helper (he doesn’t have an Ohio plumber’s license) get so much time off from work to gobble to the media his self-confessed ignorant opinions and pursue his pre-failed country music singing career? (What will be his first release, “Take This Job and Shove It”?) Inquiring minds want to know.

Disappointed? Where was our October Surprise this year? (And I was planning a party, too.) No tapes from Bin Laden saying, “I am your father, Barack”; no false flag attacks on Castro Street in SF; no sudden end to the Iraq disaster, “See, The Surge worked we won!”; no nothing. Did some Bushophile slip up, or is the stage being set for Brother Jeb in 2012 after McPalin is buried in a landslide?

What Say You? Bill Clinton runs for Governor of New York while Obama nominates Hillary to the Supreme Court? Big Dog Bubba has a political jones that won’t be satisfied loafing around the house, going on the lecture circuit, or traveling around as ambassador-at-large he needs an elected office and he wouldn’t mind making history as the first president who also served as governor of two different states.

The Tattlesnake Campaigning on the Bizarre B-Side Edition

Was Ashley Todd’s Imaginary Attack a Desperate Rovian Dirty Trick?

Not to be callous, but your slow-on-the-draw Tattler admits that when he first heard, partially awake, on the radio that someone named Ashley Todd was assaulted by a tall black man in Pittsburgh because she had a McCain sticker on her car, and the added fillip that the alleged attacker had ‘carved a B on her cheek,’ I thought the announcer was talking about the insect, as in, ‘he inscribed a BEE on her cheek,’ and a surreal mental scenario followed that featured an angry tattoo artist yelling, “Hey, c’mon you, hold still while I finish this wing!”

The story seemed a little suspicious from the git-go and Thom Hartmann noted on his radio show Friday that the ‘B’ was backwards, the way someone not-too-bright and looking in a mirror would sketch a ‘B’ on her cheek.

Later in the day, after John McCain and Sarah Palin had rushed to the phones to offer their condolences to the 20-year-old Texas Republican, Ashley confessed that she had invented the whole lurid tale it was a tasteless hoax, apparently designed to make Obama supporters, and particularly those of the large black male variety, look bad.

Aside from the hideous Susan Smith aspect to the false charge, and the chance that the Pittsburgh police might have commenced a wholesale harassment of black men to find the nonexistent perpetrator, McCain and Palin’s haste to involve themselves in the incident bespeaks two things: a.) They were trying to make political hay out of this young woman’s misfortune, which calls into question their judgment or b.) The McCain campaign was somehow in on the deal, which paints them as over-the-edge con artists.

Todd had worked for the College Republican National Committee in New York, and recently moved to Pennsylvania to act as a full-time McCain-Palin volunteer on behalf of the group. (The College Republicans are the same organization that spawned such upstanding GOP choirboys as Jack Abramoff, Karl Rove and Ralph Reed.)

As yet, there is no evidence that the McCain campaign was directly involved, but it wouldn’t be hard to imagine the impact that the ugly tableau of a fiendish black male sexually attacking a young white lady might have on rural Caucasians in Pennsylvania, a state McCain must win in order to have any shot at the presidency. Joe the Plumber move over, here comes the Scary Obama-Supporting Black Sexual Predator.

Under-the-radar rumors of creepy McCainiacs trying to goad Obama voters into violence while media cameras are present have been floating around recently, the invective particularly aimed at inciting dark-skinned Obamaites, but not much has come of it up to now except some of the demented Starboard Side of the Blogosphere typically and perversely whining about those mean lefties trying to smack down Republicans who wave around McCain-Palin signs in public. (Yep from the same crowd that counts among its ‘base’ tolerant sophisticates who shout “Kill him!” and “Traitor!” at McPalin academic retreats.)

As the always effervescent-with-bile Michelle Malkin elucidates: “The Obamedia diaper-wetters are gripped with fear over a few over-the-line catcalls at McCain-Palin rallies.”

Uh, it’s not just a ‘few over-the-line catcalls’ at the downhome Bund affairs; it’s a river of right-wing effluvium oozing endlessly from the TV screen, computer monitor and radio speaker, as well. (And Michelle herself could use a mirror.)

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The Tattlesnake The Worms Turn On the Wormy Edition

Plus: Palin Prop Blames the Hired Help, the Rove-Rezko Connection, and the GOP Fear of Michael Moore

Well you know it’s really hit the fan when all McCain can do is babble on vacuously about Joe the Plumber while Sarah the Terror veers off the reservation with an eye to her own future political career and the Backstage Crew, Steve Schmidt and Rick Davis’ crack squad of Rove-inspired GOP intelligentsia who have managed to mount one of the worst and most negative political campaigns in modern history, are eviscerating each other anonymously in the pages of The New York Times magazine. The End is Near, but not in Palin’s ecumenical concept of that notion, as the Solons of Scat have realized they simply can’t chisel and cheat enough and in a sufficient number of states to overwhelm the Obama juggernaut. With a dozen days to go and the Dem ahead by as much as 10 points in rock-ribbed Republican Indiana, the game is up. Expect resumes to be sailing out of McCain’s HQ any day now, if they haven’t been already. Meantime, The Tattler will stick to his earlier prediction: If Indiana goes to Obama, the rest of the Rust Belt Midwest, from Iowa to PA, will follow and it will be an early night and a landslide of over 300 electoral votes for BHO.

The barely mentioned saving grace this time around is that Rove’s nasty tactics arent working for McPalin, just as they didn’t work in 2006, nor in the subsequent special Congressional elections in GOP districts in Illinois, Louisiana and Mississippi, all won by Dems.

Thankfully, we are seeing the final death of this horrific negative-campaign monster — created by Nixon’s dirty tricksters, perfected by Lee Atwater, and adopted with a few new kinks by Rove — played out in the Palin-McCain fiasco, a proof of that Euripides quote: “Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad.” Is there any doubt that what is destroying McPalin at this point is their own insanity?

When asked by David Shuster on MSNBC, Oct. 23, 2008, to explain ‘non-elitist’ regular-gal Sarah Palin’s expensive taste in clothes and accessories, ‘Republican Strategist’ Jennifer Millerwise-Dyck fell back on the time-tested and threadbare GOP excuse blame the underlings. She basically said that Caribou-Slayer Mom was too busy herding her kids and mucking-up campaign appearances to do her own shopping, so it was all the fault of her clueless staff forcing her to wear those pricey duds from Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman-Marcus. Yes, Sarah really wanted to go to ‘Tar-Zhey’ but her damn staff fouled up! Do you laugh at the ludicrous flop-sweat desperation or moan at the pathetic lack of imagination? The Palin-McCain crack-up is like watching a limbo contest how low will they go?

There’s a good reason why McPalin has not tried to tie Obama to ‘Chicago corruption’ via Tony Rezko the way they have flayed away at the nothingburger Bill Ayers connection. Aside from the fact that Obama has been cleared by investigators in the Rezko indictments that are chiefly concerned with influence peddling for Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, there’s a certain name, well-known in GOP circles, who would pop up in any such reference: Karl Rove. Yup, as Michael Isikoff at Newsweek noticed last April, Rove’s name has appeared in testimony at the Rezko trial in a by-now common arena; he allegedly and illegally tried to get prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald removed from the Plamegate case with the help of an influential Illinois Republican. Any wonder why McCain doesn’t want to ‘go there’?

Larry King had on Michael Moore last night (10/23), but not quite for the ‘full hower.’ The last fifteen minutes of the show were taken up with three third-string McPalin cheerleaders a halfwit talk show host nicknamed ‘Bags’ or something; a Reliable GOP Fembot from the Virginia Republican Party, and Michael “I Used to be a Liberal But the Neocons Pay Better” Medved. None of them left much of an impression, try as they might to twist, diddle and tap dance around to make the broken-down clown car that is the McCain Circus of Doom appear as a serious campaign, but it did lead me to wonder this: What is it with these neocons that they have to have a three-to-one advantage over Moore, and they wouldn’t even appear with him, but after him to ‘rebut’ his arguments? This is just plain lame. Perhaps after Mike’s drubbing of CNN’s Sanjay “Just Call Me Doctor HMO!” Gupta over the facts on our putrid health care system presented in Moore’s film “Sicko,” the Higher Powers at the cable news network decided their viewers didn’t need that much raw truth again.

The Tattlesnake – McCain the Rudderless Old Fool Edition

“Man once surrendering his reason, has no remaining guard against absurdities the most monstrous, and like a ship without rudder, is the sport of every wind.”
— Thomas Jefferson to James Smith, 1822.

“Across this country this is the agenda I have set before my fellow prisoners…”
— John McCain, at a campaign rally on Oct. 8, 2008 in Bethlehem, PA.

McCain’s Freudian slip was not only a nod to those who still support him – frightened hoodwinked hostages of vacuous Republican fanfare, convenient for-profit warmongering, and obdurate personal delusion, traveling on the GOP Bridge to Nowhere in faith it’s still the Yellow Brick Road – but to his own status as the decrepit and pathetic protagonist of a Russian novel, a man who has abandoned every conservative principle he previously claimed to hold dear, and scrapped every ounce of honor or dignity he may have once had to embrace his former abusers and speak drivel he knows to be false; a prisoner of his burning ambition to be president that has become an ugly and embarrassing obsession.

It’s said McCain loves to shoot craps; unspoken is that he often loses. In August, his dwindling audiences yawning and his poll numbers shrinking, he gambled his campaign on an inexperienced first-time governor with a lean resume from a state with three electoral votes, hoping that one throw of the dice would put him in the lead. While it temporarily gave him a boost, his numbers had started sinking, contrary to the Pundits spin, even before the depth of the economic crisis became the Big Media daily news lead. Now Palin has passed the barrier into public punch line while McCain himself attracted snickering at his last debate performance from not only Democratic and independent voters, but even Republicans.

McCain, at the head of one of the most deceitful and detestable campaigns in living memory, has abased his honor and integrity to the point of promoting palpable falsehoods, from the pitiful Joe the Plumber fiction and the ACORN ‘vote fraud’ distraction, to peevishly ridiculing his opponent’s popularity, all the while defending his beauty pageant running mate’s lightweight experience and outright lies connecting his opponent to domestic terrorists, and bizarrely grinning at his effort. McPalin are not just an insult to what’s left of the nation’s intelligence, they are an insult to the history of civilization as well.

So dismal, debauched and hideous is the McCain-Palin monstrosity that even formerly staunch conservative outlets such as the Chicago Tribune, a Republican newspaper that has never supported a Democrat in its 161-year history, just endorsed Obama, along with conservative-icon William F. Buckley’s kid Christopher, and none other than Reagan debate coach George F. Will.

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The Tattlesnake – The End of McCain’s Campaign and the Reagan Revolution Edition

The Final McCain-Obama Debate: Small-Idea Republicans, Narrow Minds, and Big GOP Government for the Wealthy Come Out the Loser

I intentionally watched this debate without taking any notes, and with a female friend who, although she supports Obama, has a small business that serves mostly white, middle-class clients, only one of whom actively supports McCain. I wanted her small-business-owner perspective, as well as how she thought her clients would react to McCain and Obama’s final go-round before the election.

What follows, then, is an ’emotional’ reaction to the debate and, keep in mind, all quotes are paraphrased from memory, so they may not be verbatim:

Right out of the box, McCain didn’t do well, looking somewhat confused as he repeated some form of the word ‘anger’ about eight times – was he describing the electorate or himself?

McCain’s only good line of the night — the thing about “I’m not George W. Bush – if you wanted to run against him you should have run four years ago” — will be replayed endlessly by the Punditocracy but, overall, had little impact. Far more important were the typical ‘Republican honcho’ attitudes he displayed about women’s health care and jobs. (More about that later.)

Will McCain finally put the Ayers nonsense to rest? He seemed to be saying he didn’t care about ‘washed-up ’60s radical’ Ayers, but will he tell Sarah Barracuda to stop inflaming crowds with Obama’s tenuous connection to the man? At this point, if he continues to use Ayers to bash Obama, he’s going to look like the biggest jerk in the country, but that doesn’t seem to faze him anymore, so perhaps he will. Throughout the debate, McCain just couldn’t keep McNasty from emerging from the depths of his psyche, which is going to cost him this election.

McCain also veered into Captain Queeg territory several times, and we were waiting for him to produce metal ball bearings from his pocket. As well as repeating ‘anger’ robotically, later he also puzzlingly started trashing Obama for something having to do with vets and their families at his rallies – neither Obama nor his campaign ever said a word about vets or their families at McCain events, so what was he babbling about? Then there was his attempted slam of Obama over Supreme Court nominees wherein he seemed to say that Obama voted against Justice Stephen Breyer, although Obama wasn’t in the US Senate when Breyer was up for the Court. In these lapses McCain just appeared to be a confused old crank, if not actually senile.

‘Joe the Plumber’? Sweet Jesus, he sounded like an old Jackie Gleason character: “Hey, Mrs. Magillicuddy, I’m here to fix yer pipes!” McCain may have thought he was scoring points by repeatedly using this cornball cardboard cut-out of the small business owner, but real small business owners already know that the Bush Republican years have been terrible for their businesses – higher gas prices alone have been killing them. McCain continuing to invoke this as some kind of theme meaning that he identified with the ‘Little Guy’ was just plain silly.

Two other things that sunk McCain: 1.) Even the post-debate pundits noticed his callous attitude toward the health of mothers in late-term abortion cases. His sneering and heartless attitude – “These anti-abortion groups stretch the word ‘health’ so it can mean anything” — didn’t go over well with women or men. Who wants their wife, daughter, mother or sister treated by Dr. Just-Shut-Up-And-Have-The-Damn-Kid? He might as well have said pregnant women are nothing but a bunch of whiners. Obama hit the right note of concern and sympathy; McNasty couldn’t go there. 2.) And this is one the Pundits didn’t catch; while Obama proposed getting people back working at useful, good-paying jobs making such items as energy-efficient cars, solar panels and wind turbines, McCain basically brushed that off and said the magic line that will turn the Rust Belt states deep blue: “We’ll send them in for reeducation and retraining.” Laid-off auto and manufacturing workers from Kenosha to Toledo and Detroit to St. Louis have heard those fateful words for over twenty years and know what they really mean – a few weeks learning data entry at a community college and then a minimum wage gig manning a cash register at a convenience store because there aren’t any data entry jobs available, if they can find any work at all. McNasty, with this one phrase, just lost the Midwest and the election.

Obama, meanwhile, as he has in the previous two debates, appeared calm, presidential and knowledgeable about the issues, in contrast to McCain’s occasional rambling and pugnacious attitude – it was obvious he was trying to rile Obama, trying to push him into a gaffe, and Obama benignly smiled at the attempt. In a time of national emergency, McCain’s political gamesmanship just seemed petty, self-centered and narrow-minded – and emblematic of his entire campaign.

McPalin will hobble along for the next few weeks, chained to what’s left of the dwindling GOP base of religious nuts, neocons and racists but, nearly out of money and with a message that’s not selling to the general public, all he can do is pray lightning strikes. Obama will seal the deal with his half-hour of paid TV primetime next Wednesday while McCain watches from the sidelines, bleeding from mostly self-inflicted wounds.

This was McCain’s last chance to reach a national audience and he came up with confusion and bile and the same Reagan-Bush prescriptions that have set the table for our current economic disaster. In short: The majority of the public is suffering from Republican Fatigue: they are tired of George W. Bush, tired of the effects of the Reagan Revolution, tired of the Republican Party, tired of Rovian personal attacks, and tired of John McCain.

Obama is averaging about a nine-point lead in the polls, cut that by three for the ‘Bradley Effect’ and the various GOP voter purges, then add the millions of cellphone users and newly-registered voters who aren’t being polled, and you still have Obama winning by six or seven points and at least 300 electoral votes, a landslide in anyone’s book.

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