Tag Archives: Questions

The Tattlesnake Ask the Tattlesnake Edition

Dear Tattlesnake:

What is wrong with the GOP? Do you know?

Signed,
Worried in VT

Dear Worried:

The International Journal of Psychology claims that 20 to 25 percent of the population in any modern industrialized nation has some degree of serious brain damage or crippling psychosis. In America, we call those people ‘Republicans.’

Hey You Turkey Boy:

The Rethuglicans are thieves and liars and the Democants are wimpy and can’t get anything done and third parties are a total joke. So who do I vote for?

Signed,
Who Gives a Hairy Crap in WI

Dear Who Cares:

Anyone who opens an email to a stranger with ‘Hey You Turkey Boy’ and signs themselves as ‘Who Gives a Hairy Crap’ isn’t someone who should be voting. Put your mind at ease, what’s left of it, and stay home on Election Day.

Dear Mr. Tattlesnake:

With this new Supreme Court ruling that gives Constitutional rights to corporations, I incorporated myself. Now if I commit a crime, can’t I just dissolve the corporation before they put me in jail?

Signed,
Del Inc. in Delavan

Dear Del Inc.:

Good idea, why don’t you try that. I’ve always wondered who goes to jail when a corporation commits a crime you could be a test case.

Dear Tattlesnake:

What’s the best way to put teabags on my hat, glue or what? I want them there permanent-like, mind you.

Signed,
The Newtster

Dear Newtster:

A real teabagger doesn’t affix teabags to his hat; he staples them directly to his head. Don’t worry, if you’re a real teabagger, you won’t feel any pain.

Send your questions to editor@ltsaloon.org with ‘Ask the Tattlesnake’ in the subject line.

2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.

The Tattlesnake Questions from the New Haven Firefighters Test Edition

SAMPLE QUESTIONS FROM THE NEW HAVEN FIREFIGHTERS TEST

Here is a brief selection of questions from the New Haven Firefighters Test that have been causing such a stir among Republicans at the Sonia Sotomayor confirmation hearing and conservatives in the media.

A. What dressing is best to use in potato salad?

1. Mayonnaise
2. Miracle Whip
3. Vinegar and Bacon Grease

B. Whos a better dancer?

1. Fred Astaire
2. Savion Glover
3. Michael Jackson

C. What ingredient is a delicious addition to collard greens?

1. I dont know
2. Hamhocks
3. Onions

D. Of the three, what television show do you prefer when watching reruns?

1. Threes Company
2. In Living Color
3. The Cosby Show

Read more