Tag Archives: Right-Wingers

Do You Have A Thinking Problem?

Do You Have A Thinking Problem?

Author Unknown

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up and be more sociable. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone — “to relax,” I told myself — but I knew it wasn’t true.

Thinking became more and more important to me, and, finally, I was thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don’t mix, but I couldn’t stop myself.

I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dazed and confused, asking, “What is it exactly we are doing here?” I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, “Son, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don’t stop thinking on the job, you’ll have to find other employment.”

This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss.

“Sweetheart,” I confessed, “I’ve been thinking…”

“I know you have,” she said, starting to cry, “and if you don’t stop, I’m getting a divorce!”

“But, dear, surely it’s not that serious.”

“It is serious,” she said, her face streaked with tears. “You think as much as college professors, and college professors don’t make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won’t have any money!”

“That’s a false syllogism,” I said impatiently, and she began to cry again.

I’d had enough. “I’m going to the library,” I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Noam Chomsky, with NPR on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors. They didn’t open: the library was closed. To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for a little Manufacturing Consent, a poster caught my eye:

“Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?” it asked.

You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker’s Anonymous poster, and suddenly everything I’d been doing wrong became clear to me.

Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting, and have my own TA sponsor, Bill, an ex-rocket scientist, to call if I feel a lapse coming on. (Just last week I accidentally put on a Jeopardy marathon while surfing through the cable TV channels – it took Bill 20 minutes to talk me out of answering the questions.) The meetings are great, by the way: we watch a non-educational video — last time it was Porky’s Revenge — then we share our experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.

Recently, I started just leaving the TV tuned to Fox News, unless an action flick with Chuck Norris is on, or a comedy with Victoria Jackson, or a gladiator movie. And, in the car, I’m all about Limbaugh, Beck and Savage.

Life just seems… easier somehow, now that I’ve stopped thinking.

Soon, I will be able to vote Republican with a clear conscience.

Today’s Quote: Fear and Rage — the Hell Realm of the Right

“What we have to understand here is that human beings are not discrete, individual entities, contrary to the free enterprise myth that people are competitive, individualistic, private entities. What people actually are are social creatures, very much dependent on one another and very much programmed to cooperate with one another when the circumstances are right.” […]

“In the Buddhists’ psychology, there are a number of realms that human beings cycle through, all of us. One is the human realm, which is our ordinary selves. The hell realm is that of unbearable rage, fear, you know, these emotions that are difficult to handle.”
— Dr. Gabor Maté, from an interview with Amy Goodman of Democracy Now, by way of AlterNet.

The News Pauper: Culled from the Chicago Rants and Raves Craigslist Page

By W.B. Dunne

I dont know who these guys are, but they are discussing things!

(Lightly edited for readability.)

Re: Good News survey
Date: 2010-03-14, 10:39PM

Thanks for the first semi-civil response [to] Good News! I see I am gaining ground with you. I am more than happy to engage in this sort of positive exchange, and we may see me receive my ambassadorship yet!

1. Do you believe in ‘spread the wealth’?

I believe in widespread generosity and the existence of a social safety net for those unable to contribute. I certainly agree with the enforcement of the tax code that requires fair and equitable contributions by all citizenry, especially corporations, to provide for the needed infrastructure and public projects. There needs to be a solution to the reality that allows 2/3’s of US companies paying zero tax via loopholes. I believe in the taxes collected being used to lift the condition of the citizenry through education, to provide for defense, law enforcement, and healthcare. I certainly believe that the pre-Eisenhower tax brackets are fair and should be re-imposed. (Keep in mind that this is more money than you and I will ever make.) Yes, I believe in the positive definition of spread the wealth. In return I ask, do [you] believe in unmitigated greed?

2. Do you think Democracy is an evil form of government?

No, as long as it IS a democracy and the vote can be monitored to insure fairness in the outcomes. When it is not, it leads to disaster. (See Karl Rove.)

3. Do you think all Corporations are evil?

I do not believe they are the same as human beings as the Supreme Court does, but I do believe that there is something inherently evil in the way some corporations have been allowed to plunder our economy to bolster their shares. I believe that there are extremely unfair advantages being given to certain corporate agendas. (See Blackwater, Enron, Well Point, as well as Halliburton and Lehman Bros. and Goldman Sachs.) I think it is evil for those corporations that took the bailout money should be paying pre-crash level bonuses to their top execs. When they start honoring their civic duty, they may get a less bad rap.

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