Tag Archives: William K. Wolfrum

This Week’s Time-Wasting Media Obsessions Rolled Into One

Great satire from the William K. Wolfrum Chronicles:

Tiger Woods crashes White House Party as Sarah Palin & Levi fight – All your time-wasting stories mashed into one
November 29th, 2009

By William K. Wolfrum

AMERICA – Golfer Tiger Woods crashed his Escalade into a White House Party yesterday, stopping long enough to get his picture taken with President Barack Obama before getting cracked in the mouth with a three-wood by his wife Elin.

Later in the evening, violence again broke out as Sarah Palin and Levi Johnston had a fistfight over who was dreamier in The Twilight Saga: New Moon – Taylor Lautner or Robert Pattinson. Following the fight, Oprah Winfrey quit her show and several others escaped in a poorly-made weather balloon.

Next Week: Health Care, Afghanistan and other issues will be covered, unless Madonna or Britney Spears do or say something stupid.

Copyright 2009 William K. Wolfrum.

It’s the Truth That Hurts

From the Shoq Value website, by way of the William K. Wolfrum Chronicles:

Best Letter to Editor, ever!

To Washington Post Letters:

Steven F. Hayward wrote: The single largest defect of modern conservatism, in my mind, is its insufficient ability to challenge liberalism at the intellectual level. . . .

No.

The single largest defect of modern conservatism is that it has ruined the nation.

Conservatives do not have ideas; they have interests.

Conservatives are not thinkers; they are rationalizers who give an intellectual gloss to their belief that an alliance of predatory businesspeople and religious extremists should rule the rest of us.

The wreckage caused by modern conservatism lies all around us, and speaks for itself: If conservatism isnt dead, it should be.

DANIEL ROSEN
Baltimore

From the Washington Post, October 9, 2009.

Thanks, Mr. Rosen. It’s a shame the members of our so-called ‘liberal’ party don’t repeat these points at every chance.

Corporate Person CIGNA Named Obamas New Health Care Reform Czar

Another satirical home-run from William K. Wolfrum:

Corporate Person CIGNA Named Obamas New Health Care Reform Czar

By Willliam K. Wolfrum
September 22nd, 2009

WASHINGTON – The Health Insurance Corporate Person CIGNA has accepted the position of Health Care Reform Czar, White House officials have confirmed. The Corporate Person will take over the job as the Obama Administration gets ready for its final push on health care reform.

We believe the expertise that CIGNA brings to the table will be invaluable, said Obama Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel. This is an entity that truly understands what the American health care system is all about.

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Jesus H. Christ Cancels Healing Insurance For the Poor

More great satire from William K. Wolfrum and his Chronicles.

Jesus H. Christ Cancels Healing Insurance For the Poor

JERUSALEM Reported Messiah Jesus H. Christ has long been known for his hands-on approach to health care, especially when it came to the neediest amongst us. For many in the surrounding area, Christs talented hands were as close to health insurance as they could afford. But no more.

Following disappointing third-quarter projections, Christ has announced that he will only heal those that are both pure of heart and financially stable.

This is not a socialist regime, said Christ. First and foremost, Im a capitalist. And look at me, Im wearing dirty robes and cant afford a decent razor. This has become an unsustainable action.

Following a meeting with his followers, as well as industry lobbyists, Christ announced that he will no longer be giving humans the gift of health — unless they keep up with monthly premiums and co-pays.

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Angry Townhall protestors accuse Hitler of being “the new Obama”

More brilliant satire from William K. Wolfrum:

Angry Townhall protestors accuse Hitler of being “the new Obama”

By William K. Wolfrum
William K. Wolfrum Chronicles

BERLIN (Aug. 25, 1939) A townhall meeting led by Minister of Propaganda Joseph Goebbels was interrupted by angry protesters, shouting anti-Nazi chants and carrying signs that compared Fuhrer Adolf Hitler to Barack Obama. The townhall meeting – which had the purpose of gaining support for Germanys planned attack of Poland – was briefly delayed as the protesters had their say.

We want our Germany back, screamed one protester. We will not go down the radical path America went down with Obama!

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