Fast-Food Industry Rejects Workers’ Demand to Be Considered Human

borowitz-fast-food-industry.jpgWASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a defiant statement, a spokesman for the fast-food industry today lashed out at fast-food workers’ “outrageous and unacceptable demand to be considered human beings.”

Arguing that “granting fast food workers anything beyond a grim, scraping existence would put a serious dent in our profits,” the Fast Food Restaurant Council spokesman Tracy Klugian said. “Considering our workers human would be ruinous to the fast food industry as we know it.”

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