‘Those Have To Be First-Time Parents,’ Onlooker Says Of Couple Trying To Screw Infant Into Light Bulb Socket

Illustration for article titled ‘Those Have To Be First-Time Parents,’ Onlooker Says Of Couple Trying To Screw Infant Into Light Bulb Socket
More parody of criticism of raising children than satire- OEN

ARMOUTH, MA—Shaking their heads in dismay at the clueless couple’s child-rearing difficulties, onlookers speculated Thursday that a husband and wife trying to screw their infant son into a light bulb socket must be first-time parents. “Boy, I know there’s a learning curve for raising a kid, but it doesn’t make it any easier to see first-time parents struggling with the basics like this,” said onlooker Jeffrey Garrett, cringing as he watched the wide-eyed, panicking husband strain to push his newborn’s head into the open socket before waving away his wife’s suggestion that they just try plugging the girl into a wall outlet.

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