Ye Olde Scribe Presents: “Keeeeeeeeeellll HIM!!!”

Ye Olde Scribe has captured a muse and decided to torture it. This is “news?” He heard that at a McCain rally someone screamed out “Keeeeeeeellll HIM,” in regard to no one’s Momma, Obama. Desperate to disprove this obvious Liberal slander, Scribe went to pictures of the rally posted on the net and oh, by gosh, by Moosemeat Mama golly, there he was: Achmed the Dead Terrorist right in the middle of the angry mob.

Isn’t “angry mob” by now a synonym for “Republican rally?”

OK, Scribe if frakin with ya, apologies to Battleax Galactica, the new version of an old Sci (Stir) Fry show with Junior’s mother it.

Listening to the Alex Bennett “I’m an old, cranky, curmudgeon, Show, Scribe found them spending two programs berating anyone who claimed they heard “kill him” on any of the various clips they played. Only one, from a McCain rally, was the right one and Scribe: who has recording studio trained ears, did hear what was either “kill him;” or damn close. Even Alex finally admitted “maybe a little…” AFTER insisting it had to be “terrorist.” (We all know they sound exactly the same, except the “k,” the “elll” and the “im.”

In other words, they wasted everyone’s time acting like Republicans out to mock anyone who thought it might even slightly sound like “kill him.”

Well, in true YOS tradition, Scribe has decided Mr. Crankypants and his Crankypant-ettes have to be right. Then he went through non-existent sound clips from other famous moments in history and here is what he found…

John Wilkes Booth actually said “sick temper my anus.” John had a very violent colon and he had gone up to say “hi” to Mr. Lincoln and found him dead. Confederate squirrels had assassinated him. John’s colon erupted and blasted him up and down onto the main floor, breaking his leg.

Julius Caesar said “Ate two Brute?” Julius, the inspiration for the drink, liked to whip citizens he disagreed with into a smooth, ice cream-like concoction and then eat them. But he was a firm believer that one of these dishes was quite filling. He couldn’t believe Brutus, who went on to star with Popeye in several cartoons, could eat more than just one… inspiring a rather hideous string of commercials. The whole stabbing thing is a myth. Julius died of loneliness because he could never get “Lays.”

Franklin Roosevelt did not say, “You have nothing to fear…” It was actually, “You have nothing to hear but steer itself.” Frankie was hard of hearing. During his presidency they filled the White House with mooing steers; “mooing” because they has escaped from a convent where all vocalized sounds has been banned by St. Maxwell Smart, except when they used a confection based product called, “the ice cream cone of silence.”

JFK did not say “…not what your country can do for you…” although it’s close. It was “what I can do for my…” (drop the “o” in “country”) He was dedicated to the proposition of servicing women Nationwide. Hence the popularity of the great insurance company that insures sexual gratification for women everywhere.

JFK was inspired by Abe Lincoln who said, “Four whores and seven STDs ago…” Scribe is sure you can figure the rest out.

Thus proving the Curmudgeon and his Curmudgettes right… unless you actually listen, rather than using the whole thing as an excuse to make fun of most of your audience for the benefit of the McSame campaign, and also help provide cover for angry mobs: anyone who might want to do Barack harm.

What a noble goal.