Gettysburg Address “Outrage” Provides Handy Checklist of Stupidest People in America

Fox News video, caption: 'Gettysburg Snub: President Obama to skip 150th Anniversary'

The anniversary of the Gettysburg Address does not seem at first glance to be a subject steeped in controversy, but that is because you are not a dull-minded hack whose quest for new controversies must never fall below the speed of 50 miles per hour, lest the whole movement die.

Obama Snubs 150th Anniversary of Gettysburg Address

I’m going to spare you the actual article under that headline. I first saw the premise being propped up yesterday as a prospective “scandal” when it slithered past in a Twitter stream via the apparently-still-around Breitbart conspiracy site. I did not think much of it, because I am not a shit-for-brains, but apparently I misunderestimated just how obsessively Actual Conservative Pundits troll the conspiracy sites for fodder. Fox & Friends took it up this morning, and if that isn’t ironclad proof that the story passes nicely under the you-must-be-this-stupid-to-enter bar than nothing is.

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