Top 10 Stupid Gifts

Courtesy Reuters

LOS ANGELES (Reuters Life!) – In a recession year when most people are cutting back on holiday spending, how about treating your loved one to some reindeer food safe for humans or a belching beer pager in case they keep losing their beer?

Online retailer Stupid.com has released its third annual list of the stupidest gifts, gadgets, presents and stocking stuffers that can be found around the globe for that relative or friend who already has everything — including a sense of humor.

“Nothing relieves the tension of a tough year better than a good laugh,” said Stupid.com President Jim Kalmenson, adding that 5,000 gag gifts were reviewed to come up with the final 10.

The previous lists have included Hillary Clinton nutcrackers, a Mother Teresa breath spray, an underwear repair kit and mini-golf to play while on the toilet.

Here is the list of the top 10 stupidest gifts of 2009 from Los Angeles-based Stupid.com (www.stupid.com/fun/). Reuters has not endorsed this list. (Neither has the staff at LT Saloon or the Professor over at professorgoodales.org who told us about this article.)

1. Swine Flu Recovery Kit

Whether you’ve got a sick friend or you’re suffering, the Swine Flu Survival Kit has everything you’ll need to survive this nasty H1N1 including some pig-shaped soap, bacon band-aids, bacon dental floss, and a sick bag.

2. Dog Poo Christmas Ornament

This charming tree decoration doesn’t really smell at all, but it is about as vile as an ornament can be.

3. Life Vest for Golf Balls

Now you can save your golf ball and maybe your game with the Golf Ball Life Vest. This tiny orange flotation device is custom-made to fit over your golf ball and you need never dread the water hazard again.

4. Freudian Slippers

Slide your feet into a pair of Freudian Slippers and watch your anxiety, paranoia and obsession melt away. These plush and comfy slippers feature a stuffed Sigmund on the front.

5. Wall Street Finance Chimp

For the cost of a few bananas, get some advice from the Wall Street Financial Expert Chimp. This play set features an executive monkey, chair, desk and computer displaying an important deal.

6. Choke The Annoying Chicken

Anger management takes a new form with this brightly colored, super annoying squawker. Just give it a choke and it dances and struts to the Chicken Dance, making it possibly the most irritating toy ever.

7. Belching Beer Pager

You’ll never lose another beer again no matter how much you drink! With a click of the remote, your ice cold brewsky holder burps loudly and lights up as far as 60 feet away.

8. Talking Toilet Paper

The Talking Toilet Paper Dispenser allows you to record your own personal message that will be played every time someone pulls paper off the roll.

9. Obama Dress Up Kit

Who really is President Barack Obama? Now you can decide by dressing him up in a variety of magnetic outfits and props ranging from superhero, to beach dude or business executive.

10. Reindeer Food for Humans

This holiday season, when you’re leaving cookies and milk out for Santa, why not throw in a little Reindeer food as well? This bowl of yummy pellets is safe for human consumption.