Tue. Apr 16th, 2024

Columnist’s Note: This edition of Inspection refers only to extreme fundamentalistic Islam. Indeed one hopes more moderate Muslims would join in the cause. They certainly must know the danger. Maybe they could also help us marginalize our own more dangerous Christian fundamentalists and nitwits; you know the Eric Rudolph kind, or those who murdered Matthew Wayne Shepard?

Quite a while ago I wrote an edition of Inspection that predicted an upcoming super Islamic state. Nothing has changed that has convinced me this won’t happen. And a lot has happened that convinced me I was sensing the whole scenario correctly: spot on, in fact.

If you think the American people have the fortitude to slog on through death after death; spending what we don’t have by borrowing from the Chinese, and coming up with deficit numbers that match an interstellar trip to a neighboring galaxy… then continue, if you must. If you really believe there is some magical bottomless well of financial support, well you might want to check into your closest rubber walled room and let them find you some really good mental health help, but I understand your stance. I won’t support any of the above alternate versions of reality, because I think the leash on the dogs of war is already quite close to strangling the pooch.

Simple: it’s not going to happen.

We can cast our net of blame wherever. Bush for mismanaging the war. The graveyard of empires: Afghanistan. Running off to Iraq because some little spoiled brat said Saddam, “Tried to kill my Daddy.” And I’m sure some of this is true. Hell, if you must mouth the Right’s moronic, yet perpetual, talking point that everything is always Liberals, or Bill Clinton’s, fault: have at it. I’ll just laugh as each unintentional punch line is delivered. But no matter who is to blame, or what, that’s not what this edition of Inspection is about. It’s about the future.

If I’m right then we do have some time to get ready to marginalize the upcoming super Islamic state that I believe will eventually swallow Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan and so much more….

There are certain things we know from the past: Iran and the hostages, failed plots and the towers. So getting our embassies and as many of our people: including citizens, out of the region as possible is important. We certainly shouldn’t have been infesting the region with weapons that have already been turned against us. Get them out: sabotage what we can’t move fast enough in a way that the tech can’t be reverse engineered. Meanwhile the CIA could find brave, patriotic, souls to serve as our ears; our eyes. Their patriotic duty will be an unfortunate lot when found, and even post beheading, we cannot admit to their exact activities, or who they are. Though I would also favor a calm, semi canned response: “Yes, we are spying on you. No, will we never tell you who they are. You threaten not only our security, but the world community. These spies are patriots. Live with it.”

Start finding nearby countries we can use as anchors, right now. This goes far beyond the old “Israel vs. damn near every other country in the region” dynamic. Make sure every country approached understands that, and is willing to work with all. I guarantee there are leaders and citizens so scared by this possibility: so familiar with the danger… when framed right… old anger management problems will evaporate. Like how the citizenry reacted in Independence Day; only the danger is clear, here, right now. We don’t have to point to the skies or come up with fictional, bad-ass, aliens. Humanity has enough of that without getting all Sci Fi-ish, thank you.

Now the next sentence is going to expose me for the Liberal I’m not…

Once the state forms, we’ll need to start surrounding the bastards with anything we can to hold them back: including nukes. Response to some offenses would be quick and devastating. Make what we did to Iraq during the sanctions seem like we ran Good Humor ice cream trucks all over the country offering free food and treats for anyone and everyone.

The planning should start now.

Or we could become isolationists. But… that won’t happen: I’m sure most sane people realize that. I’m not sure, if it could, that the problem wouldn’t just come back to kick our door in anyway once we’re even less able to handle it.

But, none of this is likely. Instead what I bet we’ll do is continue to flush money, lives and resources until we’re helpless.

If so…

Perhaps we should just start studying to be good, faithful citizens of an extreme world wide Islamic state, instead?

Got prayer rug?

Hijab or niqab? Better hope your friends choose right, or the old poetic “if you can keep your head while others…” will become all too literal.

And who cares about “the way to San Jose.”

Instead you’d better know “the way” to Mecca.


Inspection is a column that has been written by Ken Carman for over 30 years. Inspection is dedicated to looking at odd angles, under all the rocks and into the unseen cracks and crevasses that constitute the issues and philosophical constructs of our day: places few think, or even dare, to venture.

Copyright 2009
Ken Carman and Cartenual Productions
All Rights Reserved

By Ken Carman

Retired entertainer, provider of educational services, columnist, homebrewer, collie lover, writer of songs, poetry and prose... humorist, mediocre motorcyclist, very bad carpenter, horrid handyman and quirky eccentric deluxe.

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