Sun. Jun 16th, 2024

The Birther Cookbook

“Cause nothing says racism like some Birthers when they cook up controversy. Scribe imagines a Birther cookbook. And, yes, ‘It’s a COOKBOOK! It’s a COOKBOOK!’ Because follow Birther’s instructions and the nation’s goose IS cooked.”

(Donald Trump picture courtesy

Ah, nothing is more satisfying than…


1 placenta from Obama’s birth
Any blood spilled
DNA from all involved
Gitmo-ized Hawaii officials, tormented until they admit the “truth”
Obama under the same conditions
A gun to the head of his mother
Dug up corpse of father

And you STILL wouldn’t convince some Birthers, and Donald Rump O’Trump would just find some other way to harass that “n****r” president.

Oh, and by the way, where is the report on all that “amazing” stuff your invisible investigators never found in Hawaii, Mr. Rump O’Trump?

Now, on to the main presentation….

Another Birther Questioned

“Ver u REALLY born in America Mr. Donald?”

“Just ask my father. Ask him! Ask him! Ask him!”

“Ve checked. Deine vader ist dead.”

“Then check the studio! Surely they have records.”

“Ve haft checked. They ver all copied, altered…”

“But that’s what they do! That’s how it was done before computers! They created cells and…”

“U mean you ver in prison Mr. Donald? Ve haft to check on dat.”

“No, no, not THOSE kind of cells…”

“You’re being very evasive Mr. Donald. Perhaps we need to pull out some more feathers…’

“But I’m a true American! I did pro Allie toons in WWII for duck’s sake.”

“Ve don’t believe u. All photo shopped. Dates on everything you did questionable. U MUST PROVE UR INNOCENCE, THAT’S HOW THE AMERICAN SYSTEM WORKS POST JUNIOR, MR. DUCK.”

And they dragged Donald off to Gitmo, proving that, like Barack, NOTHING satisfies some Birthers. Not even if, like Barack, Donald… DUCKED.

“Quack, quack.”


By Ye Olde Scribe

Elderly curmudgeon who likes to make others laugh while giving the Reich Wing a rhetorical enema.

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