Inspection- Of Flying Monkeys and that %$#@! Little Brat

by Ken Carman


  2014.
  That little brat in diapers had just killed off old man 2013. Was that him I heard with the potty mouth?
  Nah, despite having lost handily to the president again it’s the party that lost the presidency that decided to continue to talk trash. Having lost an election certainly didn’t mean they had to pay attention to the voter’s wishes, right? So the expected condescending lectures followed. Because treating a president as if he were a “boy” is the “adult” thing to do, right?
  Opening at the movie theaters, some sequel of some movie whose premise was stupid to begin with. Oh, and in Washington DC: Benghazi 3? 4? 5?
 Meanwhile let’s go right back to outrageous racist, and sexist, comments, make sure they get injected into the nation’s ears.
 Kind of resembles prison rape. Scratch that. I “forgot.” Supposedly rape comes in grades. Kind of like eggs. There’s grade A: “legitimate rape,” where the egg will never hatch because the body rejects the results of “legitimate” rape. We have grade C “rape” where those “evil” women are just trying to get attention, and grade B, or God’s gift as performed through oh, holy rape…”

“Let’s sing! ‘Oh, holy rape, the rapist’s star shines brightly!'”

 Put in historical context, did those three wise guys have ulterior motives, other than re-gifting gold, frankincense and myrrh? Was it, Joseph, the babe or the sheep they had the hots for? Was Mary simply just trying to get attention?
  And in less historical, more current, context; is “legitimate rape” what Sarah Palin does to our ears?
 Yes, I’m being absurd about rhetoric spewed by bad eggs, mostly because so much of this seems to be what the internet urbanism: “WTF?” is not quite strong enough for. It’s Bud Light. We need some urbanism that’s more Bacardi 151.
 But, beyond all this, then there are missions even more holy: getting nothing done, blaming that on the black guy and, of course, finding anything, something, anything, any way to impeach the president, or sue him.

NEWSFLASH!- Black boy killed by neighborhood watch guy who wasn’t suppose to follow the kid.
 Wasn’t supposed to have a gun.
  Wasn’t supposed to get out of his vehicle…
 …and certainly not supposed to play with a gun in front of a cop who stopped him…
 …or get stopped by another cop…
 …or threaten past girlfriends.
 Wasn’t supposed to lie about his finances, or lie about being dragged out of his vehicle.
 No, no, no, he’s a “hero!” Just ask those accident victims he was sent to “save” by his lawyer. Ah, blessed be the PR stunt.
 Anyone think it sad we have so many euphemisms for blowing bloody holes into people, like to “pop?” Just asking.

  So, now silly season is over, back to work. You know, the work of not doing anything except, well, trying to find some way to impeach, or sue, Obama. As we all know, he personally directed the IRS to target Teabag groups before the election. Who cares if there’s absolutely no evidence he “personally directed” anything? Who cares if the IRS was supposed to make sure these groups fit into the new rules? Who do they think they are doing their damn job? Who cares if the only group denied was a more leftward group?
  Doesn’t matter.
  Pay no attention to the frauds behind the melodrama drenched curtain called outrage.

NEWSFLASH!- Man pissed that teens flipped him off claims he saw a gun and then killed another black teen, then fires at the car as it drives off. NYC cops kill a black guy selling cigarettes by choking him in a sudden, violent, “not a choke hold” take down. Little black boy with a toy gun killed by cop. Snap decision made by a cop who had had issues with guns in the past.
  Outrage is not allowed.
  Even if someone was wrong here it has nothing to do with any group, anything society has a problem with: it’s only the fault of that one person. Period.

  Silly season was long ago, far away. Like the pursuing space ship in Star Wars it still seems to go on, and on, and on. Hillary? Jeb? Ricky, not Ricardo, Perry, who seems to be more Lucy? (“Wah! Wah! Wah! I don’t know what branches I’d get rid of, but I have new, more intellectual looking, glasses!”)
 Best get back on task: making sure we get nothing done except, well, making sure we impeach, we sue, we gum up the works. Screw the public. Screw the nation. Partisan hackery is all that matters.

NEWSFLASH!- two policemen executed by crazy man with known issues does it as an act of revenge for all the blacks killed. Everyone who dared question, challenge, or protest past killings by police and some neighborhood watch guy is to blame for daring to do so. A mayor who didn’t support the killings of blacks 100% is now to blame too. Yes, all this personal responsibility for only one person goes out the window. FOX affiliate helps by digitally altering a protest chant to “kill the cops.”
  Outrage is definitely allowed.

  Yes, something evil wicked this way did come, to paraphrase Ray Bradbury. True. But what happened to, “The fault of that one person. Period?” You know, like when someone shoots up a clinic or a church in Knoxville? Not that this “only that person” meme’ ever made sense to begin with, but could they at least manage to be slightly less obvious in self-serving pivots?
  Apparently not.
  Shouldn’t all this be used to help both sides come together? While there are legitimate grievances, yes, for one moment can we at least agree that violence, looting, over reacting to some guy selling cigarettes, laws and attitudes that egg people on to shoot first and make excuses latter, are problematic? That attitudes demanding those who dare to question, or disagree, should sit down and shut up, only makes it all worse and pretty much guarantee more horror will follow? That all this damn framing of whole groups: all cops, all protestors, encourages over reaction, violence, looting and, yes, murder?
  Nah, let’s make it worse!
 Anyone want to agree that while gun regulations probably wouldn’t work in a society where Pandora’s box has been left wide open for hundreds of years, that more guns, in more places, in more poorly, or even untrained, hands probably only makes it worse? No? Then maybe we should arm the protestors in Ferguson, even the looters?
 Ah, finally, something productive to do with all those buy back programs?
 Once again, anyone think it sad we have so many euphemisms for blowing bloody holes into people, like to “pop?” Or “pop a cap?”

  2015.
  On my radio: AP News…

  “It’s Times Square, it’s the new year, people are hugging and kissing and…”

 This “sequel” is different, how?
  Opening at the movie theaters, Lake Placid 4? 5? 6? Subtitle: Pity the Poor Gator Who Now Has VD. Sub subtitle: Gator AIDS. Oh, and, in Washington, DC: Benghazi: We Still Haven’t Proven a Damn Thing. In reality it’s all just a… croc.
  The little brat just “popped a cap in the ass” of old man 2014. Soon the Republicans will be in charge. Oh, that will “solve” everything!? Well, at least now we know when winning an election “matters…” Only when your side wins.
 And, of course, the most important thing is finding anything, something, anything, something, anything, something, anything, any way to impeach Obama, or sue him.
  Now, let’s all gather around the “pian-E” and sing about the… New? …Year.

  “Round and round the mulberry bush, flying monkeys act like weasels, crazies having too much ‘fun,’ pop goes…”

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Inspection is a column that has been written by Ken Carman for over 30 years. Inspection is dedicated to looking at odd angles, under all the rocks and into the unseen cracks and crevasses that constitute the issues and philosophical constructs of our day: places few think, or even dare, to venture.
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Ken Carman and Cartenual Productions
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