Ye Olde Scribe Presents: The O’Donnell Alternate Universe

Ye Olde Scribe’s Incredible, Inedible Quote Machine
“Christine? How can someone suck so much who obviously doesn’t?” -Scribe

“Christine O’Donnell gives new meaning to the phrase, ‘Whack job.”

-Caller to Alex Bennett Show

Now Ye Olde Scribe Presents…

The O’Donnell Alternate Universe

The last person in the world had just turned stones over and over in her hands: making sure they had enough sharp edges to do enough damage. and then stoned the only other person in the world to death. That’s when the alien from the planet of Real Reporters landed in his Objective Journalism powered spaceship. “He “pulled out “his…” microphone (being unisex, what did you expect “him” to pull out? And why do you think unisex bathrooms are appearing all over the world? In preparation for the Unis arrival, of course!) …pulled out what looked like a mic and asked, via his ACME translator…

Alien: Christine. We’ve been watching you earthlings for many centuries. Why would you ban masturbation and demand sex without lust? Haven’t you noticed you’re the last? And why would you stone to death the only other human? Don’t you know he held the last magic prong that could make sure your species survived? Didn’t you take history in school? Remember the Shakers?”

Christine: Aren’t you an alien?

After that she turned a few stones over and over in her hands: making sure they had enough sharp edges to do enough damage, and then started stoning the alien to death.

Proving the lack of wisdom in the old adage, “Leave no stone unturned.”