Author Archives: OEN

Hillary Clinton pulls out Russia hat during Yale speech: ‘If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em’


The 2016 presidential election is long over, but that doesn’t mean Hillary Clinton can’t troll President Trump.

While speaking as part of Yale University’s graduation events this past weekend, Clinton pulled a Russia fur hat out.

“Now, I see looking out at you that you are following the tradition of over-the-top-hats,” Clinton told the graduates, who had donned hats as a part of their Class Day tradition on Sunday. “So I brought a hat, too. A Russian hat.”

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N.F.L. Adds First Amendment to List of Banned Substances


NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—The National Football League has expanded its list of banned substances to include the First Amendment to the United States Constitution, the league confirmed on Wednesday.

Although the N.F.L. has long banned substances such as anabolic steroids and growth hormones, the First Amendment is believed to be the only right guaranteed by the Constitution to be included on the list.

 

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Ohio man gets shot by his Maytag oven after his gun safety plan goes horribly awry


In the United States, people get shot by their pets, but there’s another menace lurking in the American home: armed kitchen utilities.

Forty-four-year-old Robin Garlock from Warren, Ohio, put his firearm in the broiler of his oven to keep it away from children in the house, the Ohio Vindicator first reported.

Garlock failed to inform his girlfriend of his firearm safety plan and she turned on the oven to cook. A little later she heard a ‘bang.’ Scared that there was gunfire coming from outside, she called for him. He told her to get down and ran to open the broiler and secure the gun.

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Nazis Want Back Into Charlottesville. Who Will Stop Them?

Activists warned Charlottesville last year that the Unite the Right rally could turn violent. Now they’re determined to keep neo-Nazis out of their city for the anniversary.

 

onths before the Nazis came to their city, Lisa Woolfork and other locals in Charlottesville, Virginia, were warning officials of the impending Unite the Right rally. Now, a year after the deadly march, its organizer is planning a disjointed anniversary event—but Charlottesville activists say they won’t let it happen again.

“I know there are many people who wish they had done something,” Woolfork, an organizer with Black Lives Matter Charlottesville, told The Daily Beast. “I know them personally: neighbors and friends and colleagues who wish they had done more. If [Unite the Right organizer Jason] Kessler does hold his rally again, this will be an opportunity to do that.”

 

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Trump, the NRA, Mass Shootings and the American Culture of Death

A fish rots from the head down.”
Ancient proverb of disputed origin

Another week has come and gone, and with it, another mass shooting. The American culture of death marches on, fueled by our obscene stockpiles of lethal weaponry and stoked by the divisions, alienation, hatred and fear that have come to define us as a nation.

As I wrote in my column after the 2012 Sandy Hook massacre, we are in the grips of a self-destructive social and psychological disorder—a Hobbesian “war of all against all”—that has long festered. Far from improving since then, the disorder has metastasized to new levels under the leadership of our 45th president.

The latest outrage took place early Friday morning at a high school in Santa Fe, Texas, a rural community of just over 12,000 about 20 miles northwest of Galveston.

The perpetrator has been identified as Dimitrios Pagourtzis, a 17-year-old student, who used a shotgun and a .38 revolver belonging to his father to shoot 10 people dead—eight fellow pupils and two teachers—and wound at least 10 more. Pagourtzis is being held without bail on charges of capital murder. In all likelihood, in the “hang ’em high” Lone Star State, he’ll be tried as an adult and given the death penalty.

 

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