Sun. May 26th, 2024

Ye Olde’s Old Goat Quote

“Megyn Kelly saying Santa is white is like Cypher saying the Matrix is real.”-infamous net blogger A-non-E-moose

Ye Old Scribe Presents: Joe McFuzzlepants Gets a New Cell Phone

Poor Joe McFuzzlepants. ALL he wanted was a new cell phone. So he picked up his ancient technology landline reciever and called McPhoneConduitCorp, the conduit which decides how ALL cell phones are design because EVERY cell phone he’s had SUCKS worse than rabbit droppings on an ice cream sundae rather than chocolate sprinkles.

“Hello, this is McPhoneConduitCorp, what kind of phone would you like?”

“I’m just looking for a basic cell phone: never drops a call if there’s signal, great audio. Simple, but quality so I can hear who I am talking to and they can hear me.”

“Well I’m talking on our latest…”


“I’m talking on our latest…”


“I’m talking on our latest cell phone model, McSimple Old Fart101. How about this one?”

“Well since I can hardly hear you, NO. What else do you have that has quality sound?”

“Well a more fancy phone with a camera…”

“‘Lamb bra?’ I don’t need no phone made from lamb. Especially not one with a bra.”

“No ‘camera’ with 4 million megapixels…”

“‘PIXIES?’ What do I need ‘pixies,’ in my camera for?”

“‘Pixels. PIXELS!!!'”


“Look, I don’t need no %$#@ camera phone, I just want one with great sound, doesn’t drop calls…”

“Well our most advanced model not only makes calls, but it performs lobotomies, heart valve replacement and is really good at colonoscopies.”

“What’s that model called?”

“The Lemiwinks Phone.”

“Look, I don’t NEED all that. All I want is one that doesn’t drops calls, sounds great…”

“That would be really big and bulky and have a lot of power.”


“I’m sorry, we don’t make bag phones anymore.”



Ye Olde Scribe’s Caveats

YOS productions is not responsible for anyone who does not get parody, satire or are just too tired to understand. Or listen to FOX so much their brains have been sucked out by the twits who twitter on that poor excuse for a Goebbels-based network. Nor is Scribe responsible for lamb phones, hambones, pixies or your next fixie, but he is responsible for making you laugh so hard snot may bubble out of your nose.

By Professor Good Ales

Mythical poster at The LTS Good for What Ales You Beer Journal. Loves good beer. Hates same old, same old. Muses that Bud and Miller might as well be brewed in urinals. Drinks lagers too, if they are complex and interesting.

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