Mon. Apr 15th, 2024

I live in the South. I have since 1978. I’ve heard all the jokes. Some are deserved, some not. Those who hate Gays, and seem to have a mission to prevent them from having the same rights as most other humans, seem to live here in higher numbers than say New York or California. Their rallying cry is that if we permit Gay marriage soon we’ll permit Man on dog, on goat, on otter, on rooster, on aardvark; which I suppose would really… suck.

Never guess what. Some of Southern states like Florida, already do…

“Rich’s legislation would target only those who derived or helped others derive ‘sexual gratification” from an animal, specifying that conventional dog-judging contests and animal-husbandry practices are permissible.”

“That last provision tripped up Miami Democratic Sen. Larcenia Bullard.”

“‘People are taking these animals as their husbands? What’s husbandry?’ she asked.”

“Some senators stifled their laughter as Sen. Charlie Dean, an Inverness Republican, explained that husbandry is raising and caring for animals.”

“Bullard didn’t get it.”

The offender who inspired this moment of Tom Lehrer-like laughter… (As in Lehrer’s on stage comment, “I majored in Animal Husbandry until I got caught at it.) …was about recent legislation to ban man on animal action. In another “I’m not making this up” moment, he is from Mossy Head, Florida. He choked a goat to death during a sex act. One must ask, did the moss in your Mossy Head moment not provide enough lubrication?

By Ken Carman

Retired entertainer, provider of educational services, columnist, homebrewer, collie lover, writer of songs, poetry and prose... humorist, mediocre motorcyclist, very bad carpenter, horrid handyman and quirky eccentric deluxe.

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RS Janes
15 years ago

Seriously, she got out of grade school without knowing what the term ‘animal husbandry’ meant? Sweet Jebas, you don’t have to be a brain trust to win an election in this country, but shouldn’t there be some minimum mental requirement for holding office? (And her name is ‘Larcenia’? Who would elect someone who is practically advertising they’re a thief?)

I’m glad Florida is finally getting around to enacting laws to protect animals from human sexual predators — of course, judging by some of those Floridians in the backwoods Panhandle, it can be difficult to tell which one is the human at first sight — but in the 21st century, it’s more than passing strange that Americans have to be told not to roll in the hay with the livestock.

My guess would be the ‘serial goat fucker’ is probably a good, Christian family man who attends church regularly, votes Republican, drives an F-150 pick-up, and always wears a suit and tie on Sunday when he goes to his mother’s for supper. Perhaps Rush could be encouraged to make an announcement on his show warning his audience not to date their pets — I’m sure most of the twisted idiots who do this sort of thing are Limbaugh listeners.

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