Thu. Jul 18th, 2024

Written by Andy Borowitz

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – The morning after President Obama laid out his new strategy for the war in Afghanistan, media critics are expressing concern that the focus on Afghanistan could distract the media from getting to the bottom of the Tiger Woods story.

With the budgets of media companies stretched to the limit, there are worries that most outlets do not have the capacity to cover both a major war and an alleged scandal involving a prominent golfer and slutty nightclub employees.

Davis Logsdon, the director of the Media Studies Institute at the University of Minnesota, says the simultaneity of the Afghanistan and Tiger Woods stories will mean a “gut check” for the 24-hour news channels.

“Most news outlets will be forced to choose between analyzing the President’s new troop deployment or airing Tiger’s alleged voicemails,” he said. “For the good of the Republic, I hope they will go with the voicemails.”

About author

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site,


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