Christ was watching down from heaven one day and didnt like what he saw going on in America.
So, he decided to make a trip to New York as its people had suffered greatly on 9-11.
He appeared in Times Square since it seemed to be the most populist place in the city.
As he looked around him, he saw the people bustling about, being rude to each other, and staring at someone named the Naked Cowboy.
Christ proceeded to cross the street to get to the elevated traffic standard where he could speak to the most people. As he crossed the street, he was stopped by a cop who threatened to site him for jay-walking and attempting to climb a traffic standard.
Christ proceeded to bless the officer and laid his hands on him to cure his unknown lung cancer. The officer, feeling threatened spun Christ around and slapped the handcuffs on him for attacking an officer.
At the precinct Christ was placed in a cell with a group of drunks and addicts. As he slowly made his way around the cell, he touched each one and forgave them of their sins. He also healed them all of their addictions.
Realizing what had happened to them; they all kneeled before Jesus and praised his name.
About that time, the sergeant on duty happened to pass by the cell and see this unusual sight. He immediately reported this to the Watch Commander who went back to see for himself.
Taking a perennial drug user out of the cell, he noticed that the man looked somehow different. He looked healthy, the needle marks were gone and he was praying.
The Watch commander pulled several more of his regulars out and they were all the same. Sober, healthy and praying.
This, of course, upset the Commander who knew something was going on, but didnt understand the significance.
He then called the Central lockup, and they decided to move Christ to Bellevue for further examination.
Sadly, he was chained at the hands and ankles and carried into the police van.
On arrival he was stripped searched where it was noted that he had scares on both hands and feet. This cause him to be placed on suicide watch for what they felt, was his own protection. Then he was placed in solitary.
Every time they came to bring his meals, they would find him missing and wandering around the regular patients praying and laying his hands on them. Each time, they would put him in a straight jacket and back in solitary he would turn up out in the general population again.
Suddenly the doctors were noticing that the patients were no longer sitting silently, needing medicines, and their wounds from their attempted suicides were gone. And they were kneeling and praying to the escaping prisoner.
The doctors were obviously mystified as this defied all they had been taught in medical school.
They decided that this Christ person was clearly a menace and called in the Cardinal of the Catholic Church of the state of New York to further investigate the situation.
The Cardinal met with Jesus in a closed room and asked him why, if he were Jesus, why he had chosen this moment to return to earth.
Jesus in turn told the Cardinal that he was displeased with the condition of his church, with the molestations, Nazi pope, and the fact that his words were being used in vain to start wars and kill in his name.
The Cardinal rocked back in his chair for a second and asked Jesus if this was the end of times.
Jesus said that he had come in hopes of bringing peace and understanding in the world now so that the inevitable could be delayed as Satan was currently busy enough with all the people arriving in hell that he had no time to bother with the rest of the world.
Having heard this, the Cardinal quickly rang for the attendants who quickly removed Christ from the room and back to solitary, this time with a guard inside and out.
The next morning at shift change, the next group of guards came to solitary, opened the door only to find Jesus gone and the 2 guards kneeling and praying silently.
When they were questioned by their commander, they affirmed that the man had indeed been Christ, and that he had told them that he was returning to heaven as mankind was not ready to accept his words of peace.
The 2 guards were subsequently given psychological exams and dismissed from the force.
This is only a story, but it is to prove that due to everyones different interpretation of who Christ should be and what he should represent, he could never return at this time, and be accepted in this day and age.