Thu. May 23rd, 2024

Cross-posted from December’s Lutin Muse by one cross Ye Old Dude for the season celebrating the birth a soon to be crossed Savior.

Gather round boys, gulls and all you Martin Mull wannabes out there. Ye Olde has a Christmas tale to tell you,if you care.

Twas the night the fat Dude dives down a chimney, by giminie. No, not that guy you caught with your wife from Bimini. You did bury him in last year’s toxic gift wrappings imported from China, right? No worry. Scribe won’t tell. At least not tonight.

All through Martin Mull’s pad there nary a sound. Not even the drunk mouse who did pound. Pound what? Why the wine Martin thought just Wiki Leaked out of the package. Then Mouse-y went home to the Mrs. whom he did pound with his tiny Christmas-y sackage. That twere the sound Martin heard that did peak with a meek, yet scream-like, squeak, squeak, squeak.

Then the house shook. No small matter. One very fat Dude’s team landed with a splatter. Just as Scribe did fear. Why it’s almost as if the night sky started to rein… deer.

Santa was blue.

With dead deer, what to do?

What to do?

Santa left at home his other team of Barney-purple gnus.

Down the chimney went who? Santa, of course. But what was in there Santa never knew. Down to deliver Martin’s gift Santa did climb. What was that awful sound he heard, a pack of swine? Nah, that couldn’t be what it was. Unless a pack of swine can buzz.

Out of the chimney Santa flew. Bees on his butt. Bees in his shoes.

But wait, a sudden Christmas miracle appears! The bees took the place of those mange-y reindeer!

“On Honeycomb! On Bumble Bee! Need I get out the whip? OK, Santa will shut up. Stop stinging his lip!”

As they flew away from here, it doth appear, they replaced the reindeer. Wonder what was the reason waz? Well, since Christmas is magical, Scribe supposes just… bee… cuz.

To this day Martin wonders why he didn’t get any gifts, as does his dog Rover. But they both have had plenty of time to… MULL… it over. Even the mice thought it had to have been some big heist, not a bee stung geezer. Guess they all thought it was some Grand… Mull… seizure.
©Copyright 2010
Ye Olde Scribe
all rights reserved

From Jerry Seinfeld’s Bee Movie. Source: (Martin Mull picture from If you think some bees, reindeer, Santa or Mull was actually hurt during the writing of this spoof, then you’re just a stupid goof.)

By Ye Olde Scribe

Elderly curmudgeon who likes to make others laugh while giving the Reich Wing a rhetorical enema.

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Joyce Lovelace
Joyce Lovelace
13 years ago

Me thinks someone’s been writing with a bit of eggnog at the ready.

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