Fri. May 24th, 2024

by Ken Carman
Three awards for the biggest wieners in the Weiner situation.

A very close contest. I’ll only allow one award per creep.

Unlike tradition, let’s start with #1.

Andrew Breitbart- I have little sympathy for Mr. Show My Weiner, but first place goes to the not so great manipulator that the media keeps following: worshiping puppy dog-style. If only they gave Michael Moore this kind of cred I might admit the playing field was closer to even.

Number one, not for exposing the over exposed.

Not for attempting to bring down a Democrat. Expected.

But, if for nothing else, for a simple statement that exposes all the under the outhouse blackness that exists where his heart should be: “I’m doing this to save his family.” If you actually buy that then you might as well pick up his tail, open mouth wide and wait for the Andrew BS machine to produce what it produces oh, so, well.

Andrew: do you even have the ability to honestly admit your life’s mission is to bring down Dems, Liberals: anyone who is in the public eye that does not goosestep to the Right’s take on things? If each and everyone were guilty I might be less peeved. But that’s your goal, your only concern: bring them down any way you can: whether by truth, half truth or manipulating images and sounds to say the opposite of what was said, display the opposite of what was done.

If you really want to keep selling this kind of canard then forward to me an equal, or close to equal, number of Republicans and Conservatives you have “exposed.”


Didn’t think so.

Andrew, you are the biggest wiener of all.

Coming in as excellent enablers by an oh, so close, #2…

The media, talking heads and then too damn much of the general public, in that order- Instead of knee jerking our way through this, let’s use the brains we were supposedly born with for once, and avoid low hanging fruit; news-wise, assumption-wise, and joke-wise, just for a cotton pickin underwear moment.

Given the context: ewe.

Anthony said his account was hacked. True: if someone breaks into your account, or goes out of their way to intercept private messages not intended for them, both qualify as “hack.” Especially wrong when the goal is to bring down and humiliate only those you disagree with because you disagree with them. And to be willing to do it with editing techniques Goebbels would be envious of. Yes, Andrew, I’m talking about you.

Anthony said he wasn’t sure in an interview whether the first pic was a picture of him: that part might be right in one sense. Did you see the quality of that first picture? My wife and I stared at that every time it was displayed on the news: more times than the Challenger explosion in my opinion. That’s a lot.

Shows you what the media thinks is really important.

Even with being told we couldn’t quite figure out what the hell it was. And Anthony might have been saying to himself…

“Well, that looks like something I might have sent, but I’m not sure.”

The quality was that bad. Remember he sent a lot of pictures. Once the other photos started being released I’m sure it became damn obvious they were the same pics.

Note: I admit him thinking he wasn’t sure about the first picture is highly questionable, but it could have happened that way because he did take a lot of pictures. That’s the only reason, Anthony, you’re not even number two in this contest. But you came, oh, so close. You all did. Frankly, if I hadn’t decided to only give an award per loser you’d all get biggest of the biggest wiener awards.

Talkers like Ed Schultz like to pretend the playing field is even here, or that it doesn’t matter, and that means anyone “caught” in such should resign. Let me remind you all first: Andrew Breitbart is neither the justice department, or each and every voter. And of course it matters, Ed, and it is all related. Despite his lies, as far as we know for sure right now, the worst that normally would have happen here would have been damaged relationships: Weiner and his wife; Weiner and us. Trust. Integrity.

But Andrew and the Repub noise machine are a well oiled machine, and I do mean that in a sexual, prick-ish, sense. How many times have we been though this to find out Sherrod wasn’t saying this, or the supposed pimp wasn’t wearing that and the honest actions of employees afterward go unmentioned?

Yet far too many on the Left immediately fall down and join in the chant for whomever to resign with an unspoken, “Don’t beat me, Master Breitbart, I’ll join the lynch mob!”

Now when it comes to the actual lies in this specific case, it’s not like both sides don’t suffer from this kind of nonsense, but let’s ask the obvious… did anyone one die with the lies? No? So dare I repeat, “We know where the WMD is?” “Saddam never let the inspectors in?” “Saddam kicked the inspectors out?”

Ed and company, you’re playing their game, by their rule. The meme’ that “this will all stop if _______ resigns” is nonsense. How many times have we heard the resign chant? If auto resign is the rule here then here is what we have: vile scum like Breitbart, are allowed to take down effective Dems and public servants doing a damn good job through altered videos or hacked accounts, while their side is also allowed to lie and thousands die. But Dems and their appointees? God help them if they have anything they say or do that can be edited into what it wasn’t.

Just audio-wise: in part I work with digital sound for a living. Give me time and enough samples and I can make you say damn near anything I want. The tech is that good these days. You can snip words, piece them together, put them in environments they were never spoken in.

Nothing is going to end. Breitjerk will just aim his wiener at the next target and spew scum while fools on our side keep repeating, “This will all stop if _______ resigns.”

Note: if the playing field really is level, and all this really was just about one Congressman’s lies, I might be less persnickety about this, but probably not. I no more want a Liberal Breitbart than the Reich Wing making such rules. Personally I’d rather go back to where a time when any pols personal life is far less important than breaking into the Watergate, the computers of the other party and especially getting thousands killed with lies. That’s not going to happen. And as long as the rule is that one side can be taken down, but the other side doesn’t have to live by such expectations, even when thousands of lives are on the line? I won’t support that. Ever.

When thousands died over obvious lies, why weren’t you all screaming for resignation then? Oh, wait, that doesn’t serve the Republican noise machine.

Number 3, but missing number 2 by the tip of his over exposed…

Anthony- Yes, you lied. WTF were you thinking? Couldn’t you at least have started with a “no comment” until you were sure which way this was going? No, you had to open your pie hole and deny, deny. You knew you did take something like that picture so, again, WTF?

I know politicians take risks, by their very nature, and one of the biggest temptations in a male’s life is not keeping it in your pants. Some otherwise damn good pols have had their un-defend-able weak moments. Actually many weak moments, a politician by definition being driven by passion. But pictures? I mean really, Anthony. Why didn’t you just have a live camera feed on the net and then E-mail Andrew the URL?

But resign? No. And I don’t think dead intern on the floor Joe Scarborough should have just resigned either, or Newt years before that. Or Larry Craig. Or David Vitter. Of course the last two didn’t resign, and Vitter received a standing ovation for his admitting to his peccadilloes from Republicans.

That’s kind of my point here.

My recommendation, rather than resigning, is let the voters decide instead of any noise machine-based circus, either next election or a referendum with only our Anthonys, Newts, Vitters, Craigs or Joeys on the agenda: no California recall BS where tons of people run. Up or down. Stay or go. Period. Personally, though, we elected the scum buckets, we should have to live with them until next election, in my opinion.

Let the legalities fall where they will.

This is what it’s all about. We vote. They serve. They appoint, appointees get to serve. It shouldn’t be “we vote, they serve and partisan hacks like Andrew, and the echo chambers they use, get to decide otherwise by whatever means: honest or not.” It shouldn’t be resignation by accusation, and especially not by Goebbels-like video editing, like in the case of Ms. Sherrod.

Anything else is representative government by rule of the likes Breitbart, and Breitbart wannabes, and whatever they think they can get away with. Operatives like Brietbart will lie through editing and other means even more than the twit caught with a cam in his pants.

Frankly that kind of “representative” gov I have no interest in, for it only “represents” one person: Breitbart.


Inspection is a column that has been written by Ken Carman for over 30 years. Inspection is dedicated to looking at odd angles, under all the rocks and into the unseen cracks and crevasses that constitute the issues and philosophical constructs of our day: places few think, or even dare, to venture.

©Copyright 2011
Ken Carman and Cartenual Productions
All Rights Reserved

By Ken Carman

Retired entertainer, provider of educational services, columnist, homebrewer, collie lover, writer of songs, poetry and prose... humorist, mediocre motorcyclist, very bad carpenter, horrid handyman and quirky eccentric deluxe.

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