Written by Andy Borowitz
COLUMBUS, OH (The Borowitz Report) – Embattled radio host Rush Limbaugh suffered another major desertion today as he lost the support of one of his longtime sponsors, Satan.
The usually reclusive Prince of Darkness announced his decision at a hastily called press conference in Columbus, Ohio, his unofficial headquarters on Earth.
“Due to remarks of his that we consider unacceptable, we are terminating our relationship with Rush Limbaugh,” Satan said in a tersely worded statement.
According to one advisor to the Lord of Misrule, Satan had stuck by the radio host as long as possible but after he called a young woman a slut on the air Mr. Limbaugh had become “radioactive.”
“After a certain point, the association with Rush became problematic for Satan’s public image,” the aide said. “We went through a similar thing last year with Rupert Murdoch.”
Advertisers continued abandoning Mr. Limbaugh’s program in droves today, including companies who had sponsored it for years, like the online dating site NaziMingle.com™.
The only good news for Mr. Limbaugh today came from GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney, who offered this muted statement of support: “Look, I wouldn’t have chosen the words he did. But it’s not like he called her a poor person or something.”