Doldrums

I have been extremely lazy this summer. There is no excuse for it. The weather, although very hot in the early weeks, has been quite pleasant. Even though it might get hot and humid by mid-afternoon, it has not been miserable. The evenings and mornings have been great and most nights have been quite cool. So my excessive sleeping is only because the weather has been so good for it.
My garden has pretty much taken care of itself. The rain has reduced the need to carry water, and my plants have been so lush that weeding has been almost non-existent. I don’t have enough produce to require a real harvest. My beans and cucumbers have basicly been eat as they grow. I am losing cherry tomatoes now that they are ripening quickly. I could harvest kale, but it will keep growing for quite a while now.
I expanded the garden enough that I don’t have much lawn to mow, and my granddaughter takes care of that.
Housekeeping does not seem to be quite the problem it once was. I did a massive cleaning while the family was away. I really hoed out the place, and made things orderly. I’m not sure if it is that, that inspired others to help, or if it is just that the grand-kids are older and not so messy. Or perhaps – since the weather has been so good, we are motivated to pick up after ourselves. My daughter was inspired to tackle a renovation of our pantry – kudos to her.

Now I need to organize that craft room and then make use of it.

I have been sleeping a lot. Sure – I faithfully and punctually go to work. I do the housekeeping and make dinner, shop, do the laundry, walk the dog, etc. But I sleep a lot. This is a luxury I’ve never had before. It scares the heck out of me. I mostly work afternoons, and when I get home I often take a nap. On my long day that runs from 6-6, that nap sometimes runs through the night. I am no longer up at 5 am to weed the garden, though I am often up at 2 am to walk the dog. Sometimes I nap before work. OK- that usually means I have been accomplishing something.

I read a lot, but I haven’t been writing much. I play computer solitaire.

And yet still I am looking forward to camping. Several days at a camp with the kids and grands and nothing to do but sun and swim. (and hike the trail from the lake to the lodge multiple times a day) Why does that appeal so much to me when I haven’t been that busy anyway? Perhaps because in that setting I am allowed to sit back and relax, while in my daily life I feel guilty for not getting something done, even when there is nothing pressing to do.
Or maybe it is because, at home I recognize that the road is coming to an end. Not soon, but on the horizon. I have been discouraged in my efforts to make a difference, which has allowed my ambition to flag.
A funny story about that. I have a friend who fought really hard for her family and her community against a big corporation. She suffered scorn from her neighbors, lost friends, had to leave her home for a while, and though she didn’t lose, her case was not heard in the courts. But now, ten years later, she is finding folks who thank her for her efforts. She succeeded in at least small ways. Perhaps she only saw ripples in the snow, but now we may be seeing the beginning of an avalanche of public awareness that will carry on her work.

Perhaps if I wasn’t so focused on myself right now, I would see those ripples too,

and climb back on the bandwagon with energy to spare.