Not the News

“Taking actual news events and tossing in a butcher’s funny bone.”

Your mission, should you decide to accept it, gentle reader, is to figure out where the real news ends and the absurdity begins…

LONDON, England– Just because they named their new CD “Yes,” does not mean that British electro-pop duo, the Pet Shop Boys, will agree to just about anything.
PETA has asked the Pet Shop Boys to change the band’s name to Rescue Shelter Boys.

PETA has asked the Pet Shop Boys to change the band’s name to Rescue Shelter Boys.

The organization, the People for the Ethical Treatment for Animals (PETA), sent a letter to Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe acknowledging that its request, at first blush, might appear “bizarre.”

But, by changing its name, the band could raise awareness at every tour stop of the “cramped, filthy conditions” that breeders keep animals in before selling them to pet stores, PETA said in its letter.

The former duo; recently turned trio, has performed under its current name for more than 20 years, reproduced PETA’s written request in full on its Web site.

The newest member of the band. Kelvin Scales, spoke for the group. “We have thought about this and agree. As of today our group is called, ‘Pet Chop Boys with Hot Barbecue Sauce.’ He also mentioned that they decided their upcoming album will be renamed, “Fee Fee on Rye.” And a song about skinning animals properly will be added; “Why Would You Wanna Do Dat Fur?”

Here’s the actual story. No fair peeking until ya guess!