The News Pauper: OK, I Got One

By W. B. Dunne

Great August greetings to all you readers out there!

The News Pauper has been lying low as of late, sparing everyone from the last thing anyone wants; a column that has no ‘Oomph’ in it. Today I have found a piece of garbage I want to point out. There is a clip from CNBC that reeks; a CEO from the Novartis Company had his summer home burned to the ground and the ashes of his mother and sister stolen by an animal-rights activist group called MFAH Austria.

What got me about this clip was how biased towards the CEO it was. Company good, hippie activists, bad. The floor of the NYSE was the backdrop for the corpulent middle-aged white guy that introduced the segment. This fat fellow used the words animal activists, terrorists, and real whackos in a short intro and kicked it over to the young dude that did the report — but not before he threw in the words HQ and another exclusive to bolster the authoritarian fallacy.

The young man that picked up the story from there was abysmal. I have never seen such groveling submission as I did in the genuflections this lackey performed in each and every syllable he uttered. He began by inferring that it would be a good idea to not reveal the location of his Lord and Master in typical sensationalistic fashion, only to be immediately informed that his highness the CEO was at home in Switzerland. This must be the end all of Byzantine sycophancy. There were so many dog whistles a second, I was forced to stop using them by name and started counting them instead. By the time four minutes had elapsed, I was way behind. Lets just say this: that was a lot of ass to kiss in four minutes. I think the facts were fixed around the story.

Am I wrong in thinking there is something hinckie about the CEO claiming that these activists are terrorists that stand in the way of medical advancement? Does CNBC care to even say that they are in the tank and cant be depended on to produce news? How does this story fit in with this weeks other newsworthy activities?

Propaganda I say: Pure and unadulterated. Combine this and all the rest of the offenses against us and our right to be informed by a free press and I say we have the ingredients for a real social revolution against those corporations that are funding this drivel.

Whos to say that this big wig didnt lose the draw at the last board meeting and had to give up his summer house to the flames of a false flag operation? Why believe that a group of rich and powerful men might besmirch their opponents with the stigma of violence and intimidation? Who buys the gas that the MFAH Austria burned the house down with?

Biggest question of all; why does an international news organization grab a story that seems to be more of a local arson crime and conflate it into a story about a poor robber baron being assailed by a group of dirty cowardly hippies?

The News Pauper knows why: These CEOs are trembling that they are seeing the end of the world as theyve known it. The quest for the corporation, the fascism they embrace, is collapsing before their eyes. They throw money at the problem with astroturfing and swiftboating, but to little avail as the propaganda runs thin from overuse.

A guy in New Hampshire wore a sidearm to the presidents town hall the other day and was rewarded with an appearance on Chris Matthews show instead of being hauled off by the Secret Service. Too little, too late the curtain is closing on the corporate era, and only these lonely redneck pistolas, such as this Gumpish teabagger loitering by the side of the road in the Granite State with his semi-automatic 9mm penis strapped to his hip, are left to uphold the Republican Plutocracy’s fading banner. Pathetic.

Thats all for now, folks. As much as the News Pauper loves the LT Saloon, its August and I want to see more of the beach. I suggest a nice time outdoors is good for all of usall these issues will still be here when we come back!

You can contact the author at WBDunne@ltsaloon.org, but don’t expect an answer until September.

2009 W. B. Dunne. All Rights Reserved.