DamSpot’s Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, there was a President named Bill Clinton. President Clinton had a Vice-President named Al Gore.
Al was kind of a shy guy. Never spoke much, or did anything. He was just waiting around for Bill to get impeached so that he could become the worlds biggest under-achiever.
This made President Clinton sad, so he and his staff would play with the thermostat in Als office during the summer and winter. During these times, the Presidents staff would walk back and forth, wiping their brows with hankies and mumbling about something called global warming.
Pretty soon, Al started noticing that a lot of the staffers were wearing shorts in the winter and began to formulate an idea. He figured that if it were hot enough in January to wear shorts, then there must really be a problem with the sky.
So Al rushed into the Senate chambers and cried The Sky is Warming, The Sky is Warming!
Most of the Senators were shocked to even find out that Al could talk, let alone cry out in concern.
So, the Senators, wondering where they were going to blow their budget that year, gave a whole bunch of money to Al to go out and find out why the sky was warming.
Al, being the prudent man he was, decided that flying all over the big sky to find the causes, would warm them further, so he went back and sat behind his desk, as he always did.
But, this was a New Al Gore. He was charged with a chance to make a name for himself, perhaps even help the world.
Al picked up his telephone, and called the CIA and told them to divert their spy satellites over the Polar Regions to see if the polar bears had enough ice to walk on.
About this time, he got a call from Europe. At last, they said, our glaciers that have been here 6 billion years (or 6 thousand years depending on your theory of evolution) are melting.
Big Al sprung into action. The first thing he did was write a book about how Man-Bear-Pig was a threat (whoops. That was an adventure on South Park)
At any rate he wrote about how the heat from cars, cows and trees was causing the glaciers to melt, despite the fact that they were melting at the correct rate for glaciers that old.
In his book, he also failed to point out that Iceland was also having the coldest winter in their written history, which unfortunately, only goes back as far as the Vikings.
As a matter of fact. And Im not completely sure of this; the only thing he may have gotten right was his name, on the book.
Hmmmm, Global Warming. Record snows in Arkansas and California this year. Lost half the Florida Orange crop due to intense frost.
This past winter Yuma, Arizona still experienced 80 degrees during the day and the low 50s at night.
It actually snowed something other than body ash in Baghdad this winter.
Poor Al. And to think it all started because Bill Clinton fooled with the thermostats.