No, Ye Olde was NOT looking for a cathouse for himself. He was on assignment from Our End of (the Black Hole That is the) Net. Editor: Mr. Greencream N. Jeans wanted to know how a very special Tampa red lighted house was making due, considering the biggest Johns and political pimps were in town: Re-THUG-licans.
YOS: Mr. Jeans, your girls must be getting fat with all the political whores in town who will screw anything: especially the nation. I know some folks refer to your working gals with that “whore” pejorative, but we ALL know who the REAL whores are.
MJ: You’re right about who the real whores are, and they are big spenders in a fine establishment like mine. I do care about my ladies, and their figures, however, so I make them put any food they buy in the fridge over there.
YOS: What good does that do?
He opened the fridge and out poured a voice: Sarah Beyond the Palin, “Mama Bear is here to protect ya, ya can betcha…”
YOS: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Shut the damn thing quick! Quick!!!
MJ: That’s how the girls act too. They don’t eat much, so they stay nice and thin for the Johns and Re-Thug-lipimps.
YOS: So they’re working pretty hard, huh?
MJ: Yeah, it was a problem at first. These guys are such big pricks they never got any rest. And when it comes to their definition of rape…
YOS: You mean anything they’d rather NOT call rape cause of their war on women?
MJ: Yes. I insist my ladies get some non-occcupied sack time. So we have where they meet the clients, and where they sleep. Not the same rooms. Here’s one of their bedrooms right here.
He opened the door and the sound of Mr. Etch-a-Sketch droned on, and on, and on, and…
MJ: Wake UP!!!
YOS: Oh, oh, my, so sorry.
MJ: No need to apologize. I have a hard time staying awake, listening to him too. They found me sleeping the the first room we tested this in, pre-convention. I’d been snoring 4 days.
YOS: Must be hard work, for them. Have any of the ladies left?
MJ: Oh, a few have tried, but we have security for that.
MJ opened started to a door and and a hideous chorus of Ann “I’m a Lying Horse Ass” Coulter and Michelle BLACHmann started to play louder, and more shrilly, the wider the door opened.
YOS: You will turn that off so I can leave?
MJ: Sure. It’s just for the ladies and the Johns who argue about paying. But for the Johns we play Michael Moore and Mike Malloy. You and I might be OK with that, even like it. But they hold their ears in agony, crying out in agony of the cold piercing truth and demand to only hear for FOX talking points, and pay quickly.
YOS: Hopefully the Johns are clean.
MJ: Oh, because of our mandatory health care they make damn sure they use a condom.
YOS: But Obamacare hasn’t really kicked in yet.
MJ: No, no, don’t say that. No, the damn ReThugs demanded we have the same kind of health care the ReTHUGS want.
YOS: And that would be?
MJ: Unless you’re rich, just don’t get sick or die.