An edited and updated version of one of my columns from 2019. I added more Colbert Report shtick to it. Since Trump declared Antifa a terrorist group and gone after a certain mouse, and his network. So I thought it time to republish.
The first time this edition was published and then spread to many different sites, including Facebook, there was a meme that identified members of Antifa. Seemed bogus. Showed a whole group of folks who were supposedly members of some highly organized group of American terrorists called ‘Antifa.’ Did they ever get arrested? What about the court cases proving the adm right? SILENCE.
Since then the right and Trump have gotten all kinds of nasty on the case of ABC and their parent company. So using the kind of research they use: if they use any at all, or just make up s##t, I used this search engine: Goo… gil… e?.
A MIRACLE! When I found it I knew IMMEDIATELY it had to be Antifa’s HQ. After all our orange tinted deity has been battling them since his first administration over DEI, which means they hated the fact Disney hired talented non-whites and non-straights. HORRORS! God knows Trump only hires the highly qualified…
Cough, cough.
Having been given no real proof that Antifa is an organization that actually exists I did what some internet sleuths mistakenly call “research.” Like all “good” claims under this administration I will provide proof via guilt by accusation. I figured good enough for them, good enough for moi’!
The head of the terrorist cell is a MOUSE. He even has a mob-like name: “Mickey.” And they put terrorist loving Kimmel back on the air because he had no respect in his comments regarding Charlie Kirk: even though his talk that night was about TRUMP, little about Charlie… except respect.
Clever terrorist that he be.
Have I convinced you yet?
LIBTARD!!!
Convinced now? No? Well, dang. That’s how name calling should work, right? RIGHT? RIGHT???
῾ This type of ‘research’ is very tiring. Do you know how HARD it is to shove my tongue so far into my cheek that I almost went to the emergency room? How dare I not find some way to regurgitate all Trump’s absolute truths like COVID is no more dangerous than the flu? Ask Herman Cain!
Herman Cain, paging Herman Cain!! Paging Herman Cain!!! Not with us? Blame Fauci! Blame Fauci! Blame Fauci! NEVER blame Trump’s many statements marginalizing the danger. The lies about when it will end. And never you mind that blacks, who tend not to vote Trump, are most susceptible.
The headquarters pictured above has been there a long time. Started by some very old hippie called, “Diz Knee.” You might notice it’s disguised as some kid friendly palace. I’ll bet ole Jeffrey Epstein brought his libtard-only clients here! (Shut up, Donnie. Stop implicating yourself.) Their spokesdog is deceptively Goofie. That’s how he avoids answering biting questions. Their other spokesquack wears no pants and has the same first name as Dear Leader. They send that the other Donald out when the object is to look straight at the reporter and… DUCK!
The head of the terrorist group is a mouse. As we well know from the documentary: Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Universe, mice are pan dimensional beings who are attempting to control EVERYTHING. They even had a propaganda film targeting potential cell members called Tomorrowland showing what an Antifa wonderland might look like.
Perhaps ICE might take a break from terrorizing cities run by Dem-o-rats for Trump’s political gain? Send them to this nest of terrorists to ramp up violence as an excuse to… uh, ‘pacify.’ They should use their second amendment rights with bump stocks. If kids die, we;; sacrificed to the cause like the kids at Sandy Hook. Protesters? RUN EM OVER@
Our Dear Leader can declare how horrible the crime rate is there. Just declare, “A lot of people are saying.” CASE CLOSED! I know you’ll be a true American and rally to Der Leader’s urge to purge these terrorists! After all: ‘Antifa’ stands for “anti-fascist.” Horrors! Can’t have that!
And Ziggy Heil to you too.
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Inspection is a column that has been written by Ken Carman for over 40 years. Inspection is dedicated to looking at odd angles, under all the rocks, and into the unseen cracks and crevasses, that constitute the issues and philosophical constructs of our day: places few think, or even dare, to venture.
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