Wed. Feb 21st, 2024

You’ll never get them all. I’m not sure I would want to. Old truism: “life is filled with ironies.” Let me get out my pundit-based Sunbeam and at least steam out a few of the more embarrassing and problematic wrinkles, because these “wrinkles” are so big they threaten to rip the fabric of society. And when it comes to the certain current topics the irony is so thick it’s wrapping itself around Uncle Sam’s neck; strangling the freedom out of a nation.

Gays in the military.

If we are to have a military, then we want it to protect us, right? From “Don’t ask/don’t tell,” to firing Gay translators during the exact time we needed them the most, we have done more to damage our military than any Gay who may surreptitiously ogle a male organ in a shower; or heterosexual counterparts who might surreptitiously ogle a woman soldier, but otherwise behave themselves.

Word: those go out of their way to make any of this a problem are the problem, not those who fancy men or have different plumbing.

Irony: the problem here is not Gays or women in the military, or showers, or foxholes, or… The problem is soldiers who would rather not do their duty than do it if they know Gays may be in the military, or pursue booty rather than do their duty. The problem is also military contractors who treat rape as if it’s something to be swept under the rug. The problem is jackasses who believe their hormones, their dislikes and religious opinions, mean more than defending the country they swore to protect, or doing their job.

This is an easy one. Discipline and following orders must rule. Simple. Forcing ones attentions or opinions on anyone else; even when off duty, means a soldier is endangering “unit cohesion.” If they make it into a problem then they no longer deserve to be a soldier. Period.

We don’t reward those who hate, or are driven by out of control impulses, by kicking out Jews, Blacks… why do we make an exception for Gays, as long as they are doing their duty?

We shouldn’t.

Trials in NY or Elsewhere

“Danger, Will Robinson! Danger, Will Robinson! Terrorist trials in NYC? Doctor Smith wants you to be very afraid! Very afraid!”

Ah, if only we had Robbie’s nameless Lost in Space progeny on the national stage these days. I might even suggest promoting him to presidential spokes-bot just to point out the irony, though I think Robbie from Forbidden Planet would be a wiser choice. We fight terrorists because “they hate our freedoms,” but decide those freedoms are to be tossed in the trash when convenient?

I also have a problem with trials in NYC for those who may have planned 9/11. Not because of safety, or that terrorists deserve “special treatment:” of the worst kind. No, just the opposite. New York has had plenty of high profile trials and I believe we should respect the freedoms fought for no matter what the nationality of a defendant is; or the charge levied against him. Gassing Kurds and murdering the politically, socially inconvenient is what tyrants do. That’s why due process exists and should be; must be, applied to all… no matter where they come from.

My problem is… how the hell do you even begin to get a pool for a jury who can judge such a case fairly in the city where such a big, tragic, event happened?

You see I believe in our justice system. I think it’s a hell of a lot better than to shoot, hang, cut off a head, electrocute or waterboard and then prove guilt later: if at all. Other nations railroad defendants, or just take them out and shoot them. Other nations pick and choose who should have rights and who should have no rights based on nationality, color of skin, racial purity, religious beliefs or some absurdly narrow definition of sexual preferences.

Such choices always prove politically and socially driven, as we found out when Black “justice” was not even “separate but equal” justice. I don’t claim we have been pure by any means, but I will never defend such “justice” like those who support using it regarding accused terrorists and terrorist enablers.

I am proud of what we are attempting to do, and I only type “attempting” because no justice system is perfect. So proud that if they want to do it here in Nashville then so be it. In fact I’ll help: be part of the jury, whatever.

If we’re not willing to show we believe in our own system by our own actions; except just killing those we find disagreeable, then what the hell are we fighting for, except to become more like them?

I’m kind of sad, though. We missed an opportunity. Teabaggers and Sarah Palin; those who consider themselves brave patriots, were just here. Perhaps we should have held the trial at Opryland Hotel next to them. Let’s see how “brave” and “patriotic” they really are.

And, yes, I would have willingly helped protect them, if asked to. But I probably wouldn’t have been the best choice for that job, for I certainly would have laughed as they twisted their cowardly frilly panties and whined in fear.

So many supposed brave patriots acting like the sniveling cowards they really are? Sorry. That irony I have no desire to apply my wrinkle releasing Sunbeam to. Maybe they might learn how to be true patriots, though I doubt it. Or maybe they’ll choke on it, and the nation will be better off without them.

“Move more to the center?”

Millions of starving vultures ask you to lay down on the shoulder of the road and pretend you’re dead. They promise: they won’t do a thing, and ignore pain you might feel.

Jimmy Jones tells you, “Go ahead! Drink! It’s just Kool Aid.”

When landing on an island island infested with cannibals, is it wise to use a bullhorn to announce, “It’s dinnertime?”

All of the above would be sheer foolishness. So is listening to the advice of those who hate you beyond all rationality, and will never be honest brokers when it comes to compromise. They will never, ever, agree to bipartisanship. Indeed the more we move towards them the further to the right they will go. They have said so. And now that they’ve had their big Mass. victory, why the hell should they?

The irony here is that our Pelosis, our Harry Reids and our Barack Obamas have publicly stated their response will be compromise. Why the man that you are so desperate to hate even gave you a break in the summer so you could gather together and start teabagging. He’s was willing to suspend all efforts so Mr. Brown and his lovely, available, daughters could ascend. Eh, be seated. Early.

How’s that for bipartisanship, something you have no notion how to appreciate and have no interest in, and never have?

How’s that for “change?”

Change, hell. Personally, I think the captain is so determined to make nice that he’s willing to do a 180 and head this Titanic ship of state right back towards the iceberg. The same iceberg the previous captain was doing all he could do to hit over and over again.

Giving rights to non-Americans

We proudly let the French plant the Statue of Liberty in our harbor, yet we show dedication to our own principles by refusing to live by them when dealing with everyone else? What, we believe only the some new version of “true Aryans” deserve rights, and everyone else better shut up or be conquered?

The difference between us and them is we are supposed to live by our principles. We are supposed to be fighting for freedom, rather than casting our principles aside when they are inconvenient. Washington knew this when he demanded his troops treat British prisoners with respect. No waterboarding. No equivalent of live electric wires. No raping of their children while they sit in cells helpless and watch.

The irony here is that those who promote the need for such things would be happier fighting with the other side where they have no problems with the niceties a truly free nation has to deal with. But such irony is usually a great joke that the intentionally blind refuse to see.

If we iron out the wrinkles, will the sightless ever see the error of their ways… the deaf hear the call to be true patriots? Of course not. But, more important, will they win their demand a whole nation must swim ever closer to the sirens who lure us all into the rocks: so we can continue to become more like the most oppressive nations in human history?

Most great and free nations go extinct because they refuse to stay true to the very freedoms: the principles, they were founded on. So that is an old question with few satisfactory answers. Especially when we’re considering where we are going these days.


Inspection is a column that has been written by Ken Carman for over 30 years. Inspection is dedicated to looking at odd angles, under all the rocks and into the unseen cracks and crevasses that constitute the issues and philosophical constructs of our day: places few think, or even dare, to venture.

Copyright 2009
Ken Carman and Cartenual Productions
All Rights Reserved

By Ken Carman

Retired entertainer, provider of educational services, columnist, homebrewer, collie lover, writer of songs, poetry and prose... humorist, mediocre motorcyclist, very bad carpenter, horrid handyman and quirky eccentric deluxe.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Notify of

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x