“Because sometimes it fun to attire punditry in satire.”
PITTSBURGH, PA- The newly formed Dead Baby Coalition has fired a shot across the bow of Ricky “Frothy” Santorum, candidate for president.
Head spokes-fetus, Ralph, who refuses to give his real name because he doesn’t want his family to know their dead baby is speaking to the press, said, “Look, we’re born, or almost born, then you want to take us home to put us on display? Like we’re some toy? Doncha think we suffered enough? God sent us down here to tell Rick how sick he is. He deserves that new definition of Santorum.”
An anonymous spokesperson for the Santorum campaign stated that Rick believes in “No Child Left Behind,” almost as much as Frothy enjoys hunting pheasant. He quoted Frothy as saying…
“We made a big mistake… not in taking the dead baby home and letting the kids play with the baby, but in not keeping the dead baby. Next time we’ll do it right: put the little bugger up on the mantle next to my pheasant trophies. But first we’ll go to a taxidermist. And certainly we’ll measure the little bambino, buy some Barbie or G.I. Joe clothes. Obviously we’ll have to know the sex first because we don’t want the kids cross dressing the dead baby. Now THAT would be SICK.”