YOS: An Interview with God

Courtesy wheregracesuperabounds.wordpress.com

Ye Olde Scribe, concerned with recent comments by George the “I wanna blow some punk away” Zimmerman, called God on his Deity Hot Line: an item he bought used from the Salvation Army and programmed it to reach the Almighty according to Sean Hannity’s instructions. Used to be the Bat Phone from the old TV series. Adam West sold it because there were too many calls to the pay per minute “I like boys” sex talk hot line by his partner and he felt someone was… ROBIN… him.

G: Hello? Is this Acme returning my call about a refund on my vibrator?

S: Hmmm, no it’s Ye Olde Scribe.

G: What the %$#@!(* are you calling for? You’re not one of my minions.

S: Well, I just wanted to straighten out something. Zimmy says you decided that Trayvon should die, Is that right?

G: Yeah, little punk. How DARE he wander the streets of a gated community with Skittles and a drink!

S: Um, how did you do it?

G: I just whispered in George’s ear, like I did when he assaulted his cousin and a police officer. I got this boy in my pocket. Just like I do Hannity, Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Lassie…

S: “Lassie?”

G: I’m just F-in with ya.

S: Sean Hannity programmed this phone to call God…

G: Damn that twerp. If his ass wasn’t mine I’d buy his soul again. He’s always gets me when he tries to call his divine-ness. Don’t spread it around cause I don’t want to hear him bitch, bitch, bitch, but God’s number is…

Scribe would type the rest but he made YOS promise not to spread the Almighty’s number. His wretchedness said God’s friggin tired of all the solicitation calls from REICH Wing scam artists and avoiding answering prayers from all those self righteous wingnut a-holes.