Oklahoma Lawmaker: Pregnant Women Are ‘Hosts’ Whose Bodies Don’t Belong to Them
Women, you may think that the flesh that covers you and the organs and muscles and neurons that make you breathe and poop and eat are your own, but…
Nation with Crumbling Bridges and Roads Excited to Build Giant Wall
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)---As America's bridges, roads, and other infrastructure dangerously deteriorate from decades of neglect, there is a mounting sense of urgency that it is time to build a…
Alabama Governor: If We Can Put A Man On The Moon, We Can Build More Prisons
Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley (R) pointed to one of man's greatest scientific achievements as evidence that his state could build more prisons. Noting that 2019 would mark the 50th anniversary…